3 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

I-600 approval!!!

2012-02-28T19:15:00.003-05:00

On Thursday afternoon we got our I-600 approval in the mail. It had been approved on the 20th (which shocked me since it was President's Day) and that means we're one step closer on the US side.

On the Korean side there still isn't any movement but now there's a glimmer of light....we heard on MPAK (an awesome blog that tries to keep us apprised of what's going on in Korea and advocates for the children!) that the Korean Ministry has said that they will start processing EPs sometime next week (March 5-9). They haven't finished all that they have to firm up for August, but they're going to move forward for now. This is fantastic news and while we're all a bit nervous to get our hopes up, they're already soaring!

There's also a wonderful prayer movement going on (you can see that on MPAK as well). We're asking everyone we know to pray at 7 pm EST (9 am in Seoul) for movement in Korea! Please join us!

2 months...

2012-02-19T01:22:00.003-05:00

2 months ago tomorrow we got a phone call that we'd been waiting for longer than we thought we would! 2 years, 1 month, and 3 days after starting the process we finally heard that we had a son in Korea! The reason SWS stopped giving out referrals back in May was so that there wouldn't be a long wait for travel, unfortunately the Korean government didn't start processing exit permits (EPs) in January like they have each year in the past. We'd heard possibly mid-February, but no word yet. There are many who have waited much longer that we have and their babies are getting older without knowing their permanent families.

PLEASE JOIN ME IN PRAYING FOR MOVEMENT FROM THE KOREAN GOVERNMENT ON SUNDAY NIGHT AT 7PM EST (MONDAY MORNING AT 9 AM IN KOREA). THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN WAITING TO JOIN THEIR FAMILIES. PLEASE PRAY THAT THEY WILL START ISSUING EPs FOR OUR CHILDREN AND FOR PEACE FOR ALL THE WAITING FAMILIES. I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF PRAYER, DO YOU? (Stolen from Kala's blog - thanks Kala!).

Helping Friends Fundraise

2012-02-13T14:49:00.002-05:00

If you're looking for a way to support adoption but you're not ready to adopt....
OR
If you're an adoptive family who wants some cool gear
OR
You just want to check out the cool shirts, jewelry, etc. that my friend is selling then wait no longer:

Go HERE or HERE and help them out. They are so close to bringing their sweet boy home! And once he's home.....
We get to go bring OUR sweet boy home! Praying all of these babies home soon!!!

Update! :)

2012-02-11T17:41:00.002-05:00

I can not begin to tell you how happy I am that we got an update. When I first opened it there were just 4 pictures. They were beautiful but sad because my little boy is scared of strangers. You could see the tears in his eyes and it broke my heart. Thankfully when Brian and I finally sat down together to look at the CD there were a lot more pictures including a few happy ones, and some awesome video of our boy. You can tell that his foster family adores him and that he really loves his foster Mom and foster sister (who was also in the pictures). I can't wait to meet them. I hope we have the opportunity to meet the foster siblings, but I'm not sure we will.

The update said that he's scared of strangers (the pictures very clearly told this story too) but that he did regain his smile soon (I really think he's a smiley guy when he's not scared). Also he participated in a dol ceremony which is traditional for a first birthday in Korea. A tray of objects was in front of him and what he chooses gives us a hint at his future. He chose a pencil which means he will be a scholar! My smart boy! He takes after his big brother and big sister already! We can not wait to have him home. I can not tell you how much my heart hurt to see those tears and not be able to wipe them away or pick him up in a big hug. I also know that right now if I did that, it would make him cry b/c I am a complete stranger to him. Praying that the things we sent help to ease the transition a bit. Not sure if he has his package yet. I was really hoping he would have it by Valentine's Day. Not that it really matters.

Next steps:
Still praying for those EPs to be submitted! Say an extra prayer this weekend that they would start this week!!!

Praying for I-600 approval (we probably have a few weeks on this, but hopefully it'll happen without any problems).

Praying for peace for all of the waiting families - it is so hard to see your child getting bigger, know that (s)he's changing and not be a part of it. I wonder how much bigger S is - we didn't get any medical updates. I wonder if he has any more teeth. I wonder if he's scared, happy, sad, excited, what he likes to play with, if his walking has gotten steadier, etc, etc, etc. We just wonder and want to actually be a part of it.

Legals!!!

2012-02-04T15:41:00.003-05:00

Hurray! We got our legals! One step closer!

Legals are the documents that legally give custody to our agency and also prove that S is an orphan and legally available for adoption. That paperwork then goes to USCIS to be processed and we will hopefully receive our I600 approval in about a month. Here's a quick overview of the steps left for us:
Things on the US side and the Korean side are being done in parallel but do not directly effect each other at this point.

US side:
Yesterday our legals were sent to USCIS.
I600 approval means that we are approved to have S immigrate to this country and we are approved to adopt him.
This is where I'm hazy - adoption friends PLEASE correct me!
Then our paperwork goes to the National Visa Center where they do some processing
Once that's done they send our info (P3?) to the Embassy in Seoul (NVC out).

Korean side:
Next step is usually his Visa Physical. They do this a little before they expect to submit for his EP. We won't be notified of this unless we have to sign any paperwork which is completely up to the doctor.

Then our paperwork gets submitted to the ministry to be approved for our Exit Permit (EP)
Once that is approved we are very close to travel.

He will then have his Visa Interview (VI) - which probably isn't much of an interview since he's one, but he has to go.

And his Embassy Appearance? I think.

Once both sides are done they will issue him his passport and say that he is ready to travel and we will receive our much coveted Travel Call (TC). Then we have about a week to fly my parents out here and us over there to bring him home at last! :)

I'm guessing that's clear as much. I'm amazed at how much I understand of this process compared to when we started. I used to read blog posts like this and be completely confused! Now I have a pretty good understanding though parts are still a little fuzzy. :)

Right now we're praying that the ministry allows the agencies to start submitting for EPs. We've heard that's going to happen in Feb. and that once that happens things should start moving normally! :) We're still hoping for TC by May (and not-so-secretly hoping for April). :)

Oh my goodness.....

2012-01-27T15:42:00.002-05:00

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! I can not contain my joy right now! Head over to my friend, Becky's blog to see her fantastic news!!! :)

Care Package to Korea!

2012-01-18T15:05:00.005-05:00

Since S's birthday January 4th we've been putting together a care package to go to Korea. It surprised me how long it took for me to put this together. I hemmed and hawed over every decision. Like my 1 year old will care what his new shirt looks like or what we send at all. But I did keep two things in mind - I wanted to send things that would be either helpful to the foster family (below you'll see 2 outfits, winter hat/mittens, and baby soap and lotion) and bonding.

The bonding aspect came into play with the recordable book. I'm sure he'll love the 4 of us trying to say 안녕하세요 (hello in Korean) into the book at the same time. I'm actually very sure they won't understand what we were saying! :) We were able to record a greeting to S at the beginning (all 4 of us) and then Brian and I alternated reading every other page. We also have a stuffed Tiger than was washed in our detergent at home and then we carried it around with us for a couple of days. The kids thought this was pretty hysterical so we had fun with it. And there's the Fridge Farm - awesome toddler toy that both of my kids loved when they were little. Figured if he played with it there and then came home to find it on our fridge that would be pretty cool. Also it could be a good toy for other foster children in the future. Oh, and I just realized that the photo album isn't in the picture - we sent pictures of the 4 of us so S can (maybe) think we look vaguely familiar.

We also have this adorable blanket all wrapped in a ziplock with the air squeezed out so it will fit in the box (I did a lot more squishing after the picture). :)

And here is what we sent for the FF to enjoy:

The re-useable bag is used often in Korea from what I've heard and it can be helpful to bring the goodies from SWS back to the Foster Family's home.

All of that went into a box along with (what I will forever kick myself for not taking pictures of) the kids' homemade Valentine Cards. So cute! B even wrote "I love you S" in hangul by himself (I wrote it for him and he copied it). He did a great job (although I wrote it elsewhere so that they can read it a little easier)! B and E spent a couple of hours creating their valentine! It was important to make it so special. :) I also wrote a note to the Foster Family. That was hard. How do you thank someone for loving and caring for your son for the past 7 months? I plan to bring a letter to his first FF to Korea with us and hope that SWS will send it to them.

So the good news is we mailed it out yesterday afternoon (after spending about 45 minutes at the post office with 2 kids - lots of fun) and we're hoping he gets it by Valentine's Day. :)
I wish I could send myself via USPS and be with my boy, but I know he'll be home in God's perfect timing (not mine, b/c mine puts me on a plane tomorrow!).

Running for Sanity

2012-01-13T21:29:00.002-05:00

I started running again this week. One huge blessing is that I now have a running partner twice a week! :) Our daughters are in preschool together and we're going to have a standing running date Wed and Fri right after we drop our girls off. I am so excited about this!

I've found that my emotions tend to be a little more in check when I'm running. I have to tell you that I don't want to know what this week would have been like without it then! Rumors abound out of Korea (not good ones) and it's sinking in that I have a son half way around the world who doesn't know us at all. I have a million questions about him that I can't get answered. It's hitting me this week and it's HARD! I have been near tears quite frequently. So running and prayer, that's what's going to get me through this next part of the wait. And I have to give a shout out to Debra - who is always reminding me to run whenever I start to get overwhelmed and upset! :) And to all of my friends who are currently chocolate free waiting for things to start moving in Korea again (yikes! there's a way to deal with stress - give up chocolate!). Here's to happy news soon!

A Little about Our Boy!

2012-01-10T12:27:00.003-05:00

OK, for some reason I've been putting this off, I have this desire to almost horde all of his information for myself! I think it may be that I want Brian and I to be the ones who know the most about him (in the US anyway) which won't change as I share some tidbits so I'm finally doing it. :)

Suhbin was born in Busan which is the second largest metropolitan area in South Korea after Seoul and is located along the southeastern coast of South Korea. I've seen some beautiful pictures from Busan and hope to find more. One day I'd like to visit though I doubt it will happen this trip.

He was a teeny baby at birth. Just over 6 lbs at birth which for me is a tiny one! :) But at 10 months he was 22 lbs and 30.6 inches so he's growing up strong and quite tall! I'm sure I'm looking at a bit of a shock to my back and arms since B and E don't get carried often anymore! Going from zero to (just a guess) close to 30 lbs. will be a bit of a change! But one that I can't wait for!

Our little guy loves books, there are pictures of him examining books, turning the pages, he just seems fascinated by them which is great! Our house is overflowing with books so hopefully he'll enjoy that! He also has a stuffed puppy and his foster mom reported that he will not go to sleep without it, he'll cry. But if he has it he'll go to sleep pretty easily. We're praying that puppy comes home with us!

Our sweet boy is a good sleeper! I have no idea how this happened because for the most part I have not heard good reports about sleeping habits - but he sleeps well through the night from 8 or 9 pm - 7 am. :) I know that he will not sleep through the night when he comes home and that there will be a huge adjustment, but it's nice to know that his foster mom has him on a good routine. I wonder if it helps that she has kids at home still? He has 3 foster siblings (meaning the foster parents' kids). They are all older than B but it's still good that he's not the only child in the house, I think.

The biggest blessing though is looking through the pictures. I was surprised at how much peace it brought me to see how well he is doing and really getting the feeling that his foster family is taking such good care of him. I absolutely can not wait to meet his FF, of course I can't wait to meet him even more!

We are so happy to know that SWS has received our acceptance paperwork so things can start moving!

What we need prayers for right now:
1. That legals come quickly and that things on the US side are processed without any trouble.

2. Most importantly - that things start moving in Korea! So far we are over a week into the New Year and there is no news of Exit Permits being submitted, etc. We are truly hoping that children start coming home again soon and that travel calls come quickly and close together after that! We're praying for all the children to come home to their families faster than anticipated now! :) Thanks!

Happy 1st Birthday Baby Boy!

2012-01-04T12:15:00.002-05:00

Suhbin turns 1 today. Kind of silly, but it makes me happy that he was born at night so that he really didn't turn 1 until today. I was wondering how we would celebrate if he was actually born on the 3rd in the US, but he wasn't so I don't have to worry about it.

I have so much to share about my baby boy, but today I just want to share that I am so thankful! I have prayed and prayed for our little one, and here he is. And he is amazing. He is our SON. He is B and E's BROTHER. We waited on the Lord, and He answered our prayers! Thank you, God! I am so thankful for friends and family that have been so supportive! I would love to name you all, but I also know you know who you are. You have waited with us, been impatient for us, cried with me (Brian doesn't feel the need for that to be an us), and are now celebrating with us so joyfully and I know that we are so blessed! Thank you!!!

Happy Birthday Baby Boy. Mommy, Daddy, Big Brother, and Big Sister can not wait to have you home! We also know you are celebrating with a foster family who is loving you while we wait for governments to agree that we can bring you home forever. We are so thankful for that foster family as well. We can't wait to meet them.

The day we got "The Call"!

2011-12-30T22:29:00.002-05:00

Monday morning I always wake up both full of anticipation that it could be "The Day" and already with a sinking pit thinking that it won't happen.

Monday, December 19th I was full of anticipation and no matter how I tried (yes, I actually tried) I could not get that sinking sensation of it isn't going to happen.

But then the day happened. Morning came and went (way too quickly with a million things going, but with no phone call). I got E home from preschool and down for a nap and it was now almost 2:30 pm EST. I decided to get myself some lunch and watch a Christmas movie during nap and get nothing done (I was a bit sad at this point, but trying to just concentrate on Christmas and not on the lack of phone call). Just as I got my lunch ready and sat down the phone rang. I grabbed it and saw a phone number I didn't recognize. I answered the phone and someone very hesitantly asked for me and in the span of a few seconds I thought

"That sounds like "A", no it can't be, wrong area code, why would she be calling this late? Just wishful thinking".

I said that it was me and she responded more normally with some chatting and I thought

"Oh my, it definitely sounds like A. How sad that I know A's voice so well, I've been talking to her way too much lately, why is she calling?!?"

Then she said "Didn't you get my message?!? I called 2 hours ago and really thought you'd call me back by now" - um, hello phone - what is your deal?!? No missed call, no voice message - what is going on?!? Of all the times for my phone to fail me - aargh!!! Of course I would have called her back immediately! I am GLUED to my phone on Mondays and Tuesdays. How did it not ring?!?

Anyway, she asked me if I was driving and then told me that our referral was sitting in front of her. I was in COMPLETE SHOCK! I don't know how you can be in shock when you hear something that you've been expecting to hear for so many months now, but it's still possible. I could hardly talk, I definitely heard less than half of what she said, but we made plans to have a phone conference the next morning.

I called Brian and told him. The phone rang way too long before he answered, I was worried that he wouldn't answer. I was crying and I had to repeat "It's a boy" about 3 times before he heard (and understood) me. He was definitely happy to hear that it finally happened and we talked for a few minutes, we could barely think straight but we were both quite happy! The amazing news we have waited and waited for! Thank you God that it's finally here!

The hard part was that I wanted to shout it from the roof tops but we hadn't even seen the referral yet so we had to wait. I paced around the house and got nothing done - then the real work began. I had to wake up E from her nap and pick up B from school and tell them NOTHING. That was HARD! I was jumping out of my skin excited and had to act normally.

I honestly only remember parts of the afternoon. I know that I actually had a terrific time with the kids, running a couple of errands, then coming home and playing together, making dinner, and getting packed to leave in 2 days . Brian came home and we had a wonderful evening. We didn't do anything special, but the lightness in the air of knowing that the waiting for referral was finally over just made for an amazing evening! :)

The next morning, bright and early, we'd get to see our new little boy....

Our Christmas Gift...

2011-12-29T23:29:00.002-05:00

In 2003 we had an amazing Christmas gift - our son, B, was born. We saw his face for the first time and it was amazing.

In 2006 we had an amazing Christmas gift - our daughter, G, was born. We saw her face for the first time and it was amazing.

In 2011......we had an amazing Christmas gift!!! Less than a week before Christmas we were able to see our new SON's face for the first time!!! And it's AMAZING! We got our referral!

More to come soon... :)

What my child learned on vacation

2011-12-14T11:15:00.003-05:00

It's our goal in general (but especially moving from the amazing school district we were in to a state who is 49th out of 50th for education) to supplement our children's education at home. I think that my children learn as much (or more) when they travel as they do in a week of school so even though it goes against the teacher in me, I am learning to be OK with pulling my children out of school once in a while to travel (note: if they get to a point where they are struggling in school I wouldn't do this, but while they're young and able to excel in school despite being absent, I've learned to be OK with it). My husband has no qualms with this but I still struggle. So to justify myself this is what I came up with:

ELA: Reading - signs, brochures, books to his sister, teaching Ella how to read (this is awesome, he's trying to teach her simple signs out in public like EXIT and STOP by showing her how to sound them out, etc.), reading about animals in the zoo, asking us questions about words he sees (this happened a lot this week) and trying to sound out strange looking streets and cities.

Writing - Making lists of things he wants to do, writing down a bit about our trip to keep with pictures as a keepsake

Math - Budgeting - our child saved money for the past couple of months and he spent time counting it, thinking about how he wanted to spend it, checked prices to see if he could afford it and if it was worth the price, came home with almost half of what he brought which showed some good choices.
Time - worked on telling time in general, talked about how long until we'd be places.
Fractions - dividing treats up between 2, 4, or 6 people.
Basic addition and subtraction is something we have him do pretty much all the time in daily life. He even did some multiplication (plus he's done a lot of math with the board games - and while he was home with strep right after our trip we had a lot of fun playing Monopoly and Dominos).

Science - Learning about weather in different places - seeing how the mountains we were driving through affected the weather, climate, and landscape of the area. Of course the zoo taught him a lot about natural habitats, he read about eating habits, he LOVES to learn at zoos and museums, he eats up all the info that is posted and will stop to read every sign he sees!

Geography - Map skills - my boy loves maps and he is getting very good at reading them. He figured out where we were going sometimes by himself, other times with help, but I can see how much better he's doing with this over time.

Culture - Going to a different state and comparing and contrasting it with both AZ and the North East. Seeing the Pacific Ocean for the first time (and running in the FREEZING cold water - but both kids loved it).

PE - My father-in-law wore a pedometer and measured the steps we took each day. Pretty much each day (other than driving days) we walked at least 20,000 steps. Plus, if you've ever been to the San Diego Z00, you know that MAJOR hills were a part of this trip. We also climbed down and up a cliff overlooking the ocean, and he's just a boy who loves to run, jump, dance, and play! :)

Music - There was actually a lot of live music at Downtown Disney. Plus he loves to sing and play around with music some when it's just silly.

Art - it doesn't take any work to ask my child to be artistic. He drew pictures, created his own maps, colored Christmas pages, studied how people created things out of Legos, created some cool things out of these glow stick connector things (pretty sure he's going to be an engineer when he grows up - figuring out how to make things work right is his passion) and just had fun in any artistic way presented to him.

We also got brochures in German because even though we're not great at keeping his German up he's still fascinated by it and we're trying to nurture that. Plus I got some in Korean so I can practice reading the Korean (even though I don't know what I'm reading...). ;)

Just a portion of the things we did on vacation and I know that this enriches his learning a lot, even though I still feel a bit guilty about taking him out. :)

17 months and catch up

2011-12-12T15:22:00.002-05:00

We were out off town last week so I'm doing some blog catch up. On Thursday (the 8th) we reached 17 months without HSTK and no referral in sight. It was really good to be out of town last week. I was also essentially off line (one or two emails but that's it) and it was a much needed break. I'm still playing catch up with messages and emails, so forgive me if I haven't gotten back to you. I had so many sweet and caring messages from friends last week and I really appreciate it. This wait is definitely starting to take a toll. I'm hoping that we'll hear good news soon, but I'm praying for God's perfect timing and that our referral will be the child he wants in our family.
I have some fun ideas for posts but right now I'm feeling a bit restless and frustrated so it's hard for me to get it all down. Thanks for bearing with me. Have a great week. Hope you're all enjoying this Christmas season! :)

5 years ago....

2011-12-06T15:13:00.000-05:00

I woke up at 4:15 thinking that I was having braxton-hicks because I couldn't possibly wake up out of a dead sleep with contractions that were 2 minutes apart lasting a minute. A glass off water, laid on my left side, then told Brian to get out of bed and grab Ben. I called my friend, Linda, and we were out the door dropping B off at Linda's house. The hospital said that they've never checked someone in so fast, and they didn't think my doctor would make it in - but she did. At 5:39 am (yes, less than an hour and a half labor - I know you hate me, but it was a bit scary, actually) our beautiful GEM was born (don't you love her initials? - oddly, we didn't even figure it out until after she was born! How weird (or slow) is that?).

She continues to shine in our lives and for her birthday we took our princess to Disneyland this year. No, we don't usually do huge birthdays like this, it just worked out that we could take our vacation over the kids' birthdays. But it was a fantastic way to celebrate. Brian's parents are Disney Vacation Club Members and we are so blessed to travel with them. The kids loved having Grandma and Grandpa celebrate with them.

8 years ago...

2011-12-04T15:02:00.001-05:00

I woke up in the morning and realized that our plans for that day had changed. I found my Mom (Brian was in Iraq) and we drove through a snow storm into Syracuse. The nurses asked me questions and guessed that I had hours, but when the doctor saw me she told me I had to get to the hospital NOW! She called ahead and we walked across the street (they wanted me to use a wheelchair but I wanted to keep walking). About 3 1/2 hours later at 1 pm our little pumpkin was born. He didn't have a name until Brian called from Iraq at close to midnight. It drove both of our Moms a bit crazy not knowing his name and it made me laugh. Of course when Brian called we were both so relieved to talk to each other that we forgot to name him. We hung up (I knew he was calling back but our Moms didn't) and they screamed at me "A NAME!" - when Brian called back we discussed it and BHM had his name. What an amazing Christmas gift! Love that boy! Thank you God for bringing him into our family! :)

Today we celebrated at Legoland. What a fun place for an 8 year old boy! There were tons of thing built out of legos which completely fascinated B - I swear he is going to be an engineer one day. He loves creating and figuring out how things work. He's an amazing boy. So happy we were able to celebrate with Grandma and Grandpa as well.

Birthday Party and update

2011-11-21T18:59:00.002-05:00

So Saturday we celebrated B and E's birthdays with their new friends. We went to the local park, had pizza and cake and played a lot. The kids had a blast and they have such nice friends. It was a great time. It was a good opportunity for me to get to know some of their friends' families and for them to play with friends outside of school. We're all still adjusting to this move. By far, this has been the hardest one on all 4 of us. Ben wrote to his friend, L, the other day and said that he wishes he still lived on the East Coast. :( Me too, buddy, me too. We do like AZ. The area is nice and there are lots of nice people. I don't want to spend all my time complaining, we just miss everyone out east and feel isolated here.

I talked to our agency today. It as a very upbeat, hopeful conversation and I felt good afterward. It sounds like referrals should be coming in soon (something they don't have control over) but the part that really helped is that she really seemed to have our back. She told me that we've been waiting longest (I knew this, but it was nice for her to say it out loud) and she said she fully intends to advocate for us (she started earlier this month by submitting a few families who have been waiting longest to them and asked SWS to consider how long we've been waiting. I am so thankful that they are trying all they can. This part is not in their hands, but they really seem to be doing all they can.

Not much news otherwise. Have a great day! Happy Thanksgiving week!

Two Years ago today...

2011-11-16T14:52:00.003-05:00

We worked hard to get to Maryland (and not get lost). My husband had to take the metro into MD and I drove, picked him up there, and we made our way to this agency someone had randomly mentioned to us at a different agency's intro meeting. We went inside and waited. I remember looking at millions of pictures - babies and children who now are in families.

We went into an office and met a woman - a woman who went to the same Alma Mater as my husband and is from the same area of the country as me (completely unimportant, but a neat connection). A woman who spoke so warmly and calmly about a very confusing and overwhelming journey that we were about to embark on. (On a side note - a woman who assured us that a child would be in our arms in about 18 months...note the 2 years -but I know she had no control over the changes).

That day we signed a contract and wrote the first of many checks to OUR adoption agency! After 2 years (almost exactly - we first started looking more seriously into adoption in November of '06 when E was 11 months old) of talking about this possibility it was now happening. I was excited and completely overwhelmed, yet ready to dive in!

It's been 2 years since we started this journey and sometimes it feels like we're treading water. Not much has happened. But at the same time we have done so much - 2 home studies, multiple sets of fingerprints, had multiple things notarized, have USCIS approval (more than once), and are at a point where we can truly be ready to see our child's face any day. That is the biggest thing. We've been waiting, but the time should be here soon! I am in fact, overdue for an elephant, but I'm also thankful.

I am so thankful that we are close! I am thankful for the friends I've made! I'm thankful that God has used this time to grow me in so many ways. I am thankful for the child that is still to come into our family. I am thankful that my kids are (almost) as excited as Brian and I are to have this child in our family! I can't believe she was 2 when we started this and I worried about her being sad not to be the baby any more. Now I realize that she's about to turn 5 and she is SO READY to have a little sibling. She doesn't want to be the littlest (at least she doesn't think she wants that....) anymore. :) B is chomping at the bit to see a picture of his youngest sibling (and to know if he will, in fact, have a brother - both kids are hoping for what they don't already have, B, a brother, E, a sister - but they will both be thrilled with their sibling). :)

It's been a long 2 years in terms of the wait, but it has been an amazing 2 years in many other ways. E has started preschool. We had G, Jackie, and Hellen come stay with us, we moved, we've welcomed other family members (including the newest cousin in our family, born on 11/11/11 - how cool is that?!?), and we've grown as people, as family, with friends. What a blessing. Thank you, God, for all you've done. Thank you family and friends for your support - without it, we wouldn't be quite where we are now. I hope that soon I will have a very exciting post to share, but there may be some fun family times to share before then. Not sure what God's timing is, but I know it is perfect.

ETA: This post is really how I feel today, but know also that this process has been hard and I'm so thankful to friends who listen to my anxious thought each day as I try to leave them behind and trust. Sometimes I think I try hard not to sound negative that I don't share how hard it is. It. Is. HARD. I long to see my child's face EVERY day - all day. And it's hard to patiently explain to my children (AGAIN) about how we don't know when or who or anything really, but that it will be in God's timing. Thanks for listening. Have a great day.

16 months and Blog Award

2011-11-08T12:48:00.000-05:00

Hi! How are all of you on this beautiful Tuesday? I noticed that it is in fact the 8th and that means that it has now been 16 months since HSTK. There is a very real chance that we will not see 17 months without a referral! Though it's not guaranteed (the part that is very hard for me to deal with). I heard rumor yesterday that someone with SWS received a referral so it sounds like they definitely did resume! That means it could be any time!

My wonderful friend, Erin, over at Erin's Creative Energy gave me this blog award. I am so thankful to have her. Our husbands are actually close friends from college and we met in college as well and became good friends. We keep in touch better than our husbands usually. :) Miss you, Erin! Thank you for thinking of me. :)

The Liebster Award spotlights up and coming bloggers who generally have less than 200 followers.

Upon receipt of the Liebster Award, there are a few very simple rules:

1. Copy and paste the award on your blog

2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you

3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

Now I will pass this award on to 5 other blogs that I truly enjoy.

Ok, this is the hard part. A couple of the ones I thought of have over 200 followers and it's hard to narrow down the ones who don't, so bear with me.

1. Gotta start with my waiting buddy, Kelly. She is next in "line" behind me with the same agency. She has been a wonderful source of support, prayer, and long distance friendship! Check out her blog: Minus 1 Project - right now you can guess the date of her referral! :)

2. Next is my amazing friend, Sandra. I miss her and her wonderful little boy, B (great name!) so much now that we don't live out east any more. Hoping to move back near her soon!

3. Next is Becky, from Day by Day (who I owe a phone call - sorry, I was so sick last week and all weekend). What a blessing God has given me in allowing us to move to the desert at the same time! We live an hour apart (door to door, we've both clocked it) so it's not too difficult to get together and we have a few times. Looking forward to seeing her soon! Her son, J, came home in September and he is absolutely adorable! I am smitten with him! :)

4. My friend, Kala, who brought her son Matthew home summer 2010 and is in process to bring home Nathan! Check out her blog, Together We Make a Family.

5. Our Dreaming Tree of Three is a wonderful blog by my friend Susan. Her spirit really shines through her writing and her photography. Please check it out.

6. Because I'm usually a complete rule follower and I feel like being a rebel I'm throwing in a 6th - Chois R Us is super close to 200 followers and since apparently (according to this award) at 200 you're not longer up and coming but you've arrived - help her "arrive" and go follow her blog if you don't already! :) Grace is another amazing friend and her blog will keep you laughing! :)

There are more I wish I could share, but I am going to get off of blogger for a bit, so have a great day and hopefully I'll be back here with amazing news VERY soon! :)

M Family Happenings

2011-11-04T14:20:00.002-04:00

So Sunday after church we decided to go to IH@P. That went like this: we arrive and E is antsy so Brian takes her outside to run around. They come back in, we sit, and E runs to the bathroom and pukes all over the bathroom floor (at least she made it that far- and avoided her clothes - impressive at 4). No IH@P for us. We go home, she spiked a fever and was sick for 2 days. Home all day Monday. Fever was gone by afternoon so we did take the kids out trick or treating for a little bit. I see Halloween as a silly day to dress up and eat candy. For the most part we try to down play it in our house, but still allow the fun parts of playing dress up and eating candy. :)

So - we're out trick or treating, having a grand old time, and B runs into a cactus! Little cactus spikes end up stuck in his leg and (because I was trying to help afterwards) stuck in my hand as well. We go home and pick them out with tweezers, what fun. Now I laugh though. Only my child is so oblivious that he runs into a cactus (maybe he can blame the mask?)!

So since E had a fever on Monday I keep her home from PWOC on Tuesday and we spend another day at home. Definitely ready to be out and about on Wednesday. I get a few things done but by Wednesday afternoon - stomach bug hits me. Quite sick all day on Thursday. Today is much better but not fantastic (still a bit nauseous and weak) so hopefully I'll be fully recovered by tonight/tomorrow.

So that's what's going on here. I am trying to focus on today and not on next week or sometime this month when our referral could come rolling in. But some days that is hard. :) It really SHOULD be soon, though there's no guarantee. Hopefully there will be very good, exciting news posted here soon! :)

I-600a approval - Paper Ready AGAIN! :)

2011-10-28T13:10:00.003-04:00

We got our updated I171H in the mail yesterday. It doesn't expire until 2013 so it's time to bring home our child and not have to do this end of the paperwork again! :)

Just thought I'd share this bit of happiness! :)

1 week until November

2011-10-25T18:31:00.003-04:00

1 week until the possibility of referrals returns. I am so excited for that possibility to return, but trying to prepare myself and tell myself not to spend energy and time "waiting" even once it does return. It will happen in God's perfect timing, and that may not mean November (can you tell I kind of have my heart set on November? Really trying to change that....really unsuccessful so far).

I figure (this is my own supposition, not based on anything anyone has said to me) that referrals really won't start rolling in for 2 weeks at this point. Since our agency has told us that referrals usually come on Mondays and Tuesdays, I figure that it will be the following Monday and Tuesday when they finally start to arrive in the US.

Please pray for the families waiting, but most importantly for the children who need to be in families that are waiting all over the world.

Our next set of visitors!

2011-10-25T18:19:00.002-04:00

My best friend, H, and her 4 kids: CJ, BE, CG, EM - came to visit. I have to use middle initials to clarify b/c our B's have the same name and 2 of her kids have C as their first initial, so this works. :) CJ is B's very first friend. When he was 13 months old (I know this b/c it was before Brian deployed) he could say her full name, and it's not an easy name to say. We then lived together for a few weeks - H, CJ, BE, B, and me - it was hard b/c our husbands were gone, but it was wonderful to have that kind of support. Anyway, now our boys are best friends, plus B considers CJ still one of his best friends, and our girls (CG and E) are the best of friends. You have never seen 2 kids of this age play so angelically for so long. :)

Anyway, we loved having them all here for the week. Unfortunately B had school all week so we were a little limited with the school calendar, but my B is a bit of a home body so he was happy that he got to be here to play at home most of the time. While they visited we were able to get into Tucson to do some shopping (we did birthday and Christmas shopping for each other's kids so we didn't have to send packages this year - did I mention that 5 of our six kids plus H and her husband M have their birthdays in just over a 2 month time span right around Christmas?).
We also went to Tombstone (we did that after school b/c B really enjoys it) and walked around. We didn't go to the OK Corral (we did with my parents) b/c it's a bit long for some of the younger kids, but we did enjoy the early part of it where they do the fighting in the streets. Plus there was fudge and sasparilla in Tombstone, so lots of fun was had by all. We went to Bisbee later in the week and walked all around. Such a cute area. Not entirely kid friendly to be honest, but we had fun all the same.

On Friday we went back to Tucson to pick up M from the airport. We were so happy to have the opportunity to see him, but we wish it was for longer. It was also nice that he was able to drive back with H b/c it's a long drive by yourself with 4 kids. :) Our husbands get along really well, but they often don't get to join us for visits. :(

We wish that we could live near them, and see them on a regular basis. It is really hard to see them go and get back into routine after 3 weeks of visitors. But I think it feels a little more like home to us after having everyone here.

Nonni and Paika

2011-10-24T20:00:00.003-04:00

We had my parents here visiting for almost 2 weeks. It was wonderful to see them. We got to go to Phoenix for the weekend. It was extremely hot while we were there so we tried to stay somewhat indoors. We went to the Musical Instrumental Museum which was pretty fun. We were a bit surprised by how much the kids enjoyed it. I should preface that with the fact that I really should know my son better - if it's a museum, it's for him. He loves museums, could spend weeks exploring the Smithsonian over and over, and he is wonderfully behaved there. Considering the fact that sometimes taking my kids to the grocery store has me pulling my hair out, I don't quite understand this phenomenon, but he just loves to learn new things in an interesting way, he loves to learn about different parts of the world, different periods in time, and different cultures. So I should not have been surprised that he really enjoyed this museum, a LOT! E liked it quite a bit and at first was very engaged and interested. After about 30-45 minutes she was pretty done but she did pretty well hanging in there a little while longer so we could see most of it.

On Sunday the guys (Brian, my Dad, and B) went to see the Giants play against the Cardinals. Brian and B are big Giants fans so this was extremely exciting! It was the first time B went to a pro game, and the first time for both of them to see the Giants (it's pretty much impossible to get tickets to the Meadowlands so he hadn't seen them before).

The girls went to Tucson to do some shopping and have lunch together. It was a fun time for all involved, though Mom and I were both kind of happy to make it home earlier than the guys. :) E was sound asleep by the time they got to our house and since Mom and Dad were still on Eastern Time, that was quite an adjustment.

While they visited we went to Tombstone and we were even able to meet my uncle there and he came and stayed the night with us! :) We went to Bisbee, on the Mine Tour, to Karchner Caverns (we didn't go in the caves, but we hiked around the outside). The Hike was fantastic, beautiful, and B led the way the whole time! He is becoming quite the hiker! It really brings out his confidence, which I love! E was about done by the last 1/2 mile but she really did well for a 4 year old! It was a 2 1/2 mile hike, but the first half was mostly up the mountain, and the second half was winding, and the path was rocky and uneven, lots of ups and downs - it was hard work for all of us, so I was almost finished by the last 1/2 mile! :)

We had lots of fun playing games - this is a normal passtime with my parents and my kids and all 6 of us love it! A new game my parents introduced was Qwirkle! Great fun! B got good at it, E is still figuring it out a bit, but she enjoys it. We all enjoy playing games that are fun for adults as well as kids. I love that it's a rare occasion that I have to play Candyland and Chutes and Ladders (we still own them, and they come out once in a while, probably much more once the baby is old enough, but I am so much happier with other games!). :)

Sadly, Mom and Dad had to return home. But we're excited for Christmas. And we had to get ready for our next set of visitors....

Paperwork mailed to USCIS!

2011-10-15T17:18:00.002-04:00

Finally got our I-600a extension and new home study with court certification all mailed in to USCIS today! :) Happy to have that done. Now we should be able to just sit back and wait for our referral! 17 days until November and 72 days until Christmas - there's a very good chance we'll see our child's face in that time frame! :)

Wonderful update on JJ - it was looking good for going home yesterday from the hospital! What miraculous healing has been done in his life! :) Hoping to hear confirmation that he's home sweet home soon! :)

Our happy times - we just had my parents here for a week and a half - wonderful time! Miss them already. Today my best friend, H, and her 4 kids are coming into town. I think I'm bouncing off the walls as much as the kids! :) Off to get the house picked up a bit for them. ;)

15 months and some current events

2011-10-10T19:09:00.002-04:00

OK, to start - it's been 15 months since HSTK. Here's hoping by 16 months we'll have a picture. We've been told that referrals will start up again in November. I am so ready for November, yet at the same time dreading it. It's actually been a nice respite being out of the "waiting" mode and I'm not looking forward to being there again. However, I'm really hoping it's not very long that we're in it. It looks as though we've been waiting longest at our agency so November is a very realistic timeline. Our agency is telling us November or December. They're saying travel in March/April - I'm saying travel in April/May. I guess we'll see. :)

I have a couple of friends at our agency (whom I've never met in person) that I've been waiting most of this time with. Kelly and Monica (check out their awesome fundraisers) are numbers 2 and 3 (from what we've figured out, there is always room for error) and we've been waiting together for quite some time. Kelly is about a month behind, and Monica about 2 months so we're all over a year of waiting at this point and it's been such a blessing to have people to email and write to, pray with and for, and have someone who understands to talk to. I'm rambling here, forgive me. I have other awesome friends who have been waiting too, but I thought I'd give a shout out to the two who have been enduring this with me for so long at our agency. We are all ready to see our babies' sweet faces! :)

In other news: B had an awesome soccer game the other day! He was right in there playing hard or cheering hard for his team the entire time AND he even scored! :) He also assisted a goal with his throw-in. But most of all I was just so proud of how attentive he was to the game the entire time - playing or not. :)

My parents are visiting. Nonni and Paika are definitely a huge hit in this house. Every meal starts with figuring out who gets to sit by who. We have played games, read books, gone to the pumpkin patch, went to Tombstone (with Uncle Doug who was also in town!), done some other touring in the area and it's been awesome. B got to go to his first NFL game with Brian and Paika which was awesome for all of them. We went hiking yesterday and B was leading the way the whole time. I love to see him when he's confident and feeling strong. It's a work in progress because he does not always portray that confidence at all. E did very well for a 4 year old. It was a 2 1/2 mile hike, but it was in the mountains therefore it was rocky, rough, and uphill or narrow much of the way. By the last 1/2 mile she was about done but she spent that first 2 miles really doing an awesome job (that portion took us about and hour and a half to give you an idea).
Right now we're off to attempt making pumpkin pie starting with a pumpkin - completely from scratch! :) B is quite excited!

Have a great day!

Catch up Post #2: NY and NJ

2011-10-08T20:04:00.000-04:00

While in NY we were able to see both sides of the family. We spent a good amount of time at Nonni and Paika's and at camp with Grammy and Grandpa, Aunt Robin and Uncle Joe and we got to see Lindsay and Joey too! We got to celebrate Corey's graduation from high school with Uncle Doug and the boys which was fantastic! Amazing how many people we were able to see!

We had a get together with the other side of the family as well. E really enjoyed seeing R, G, K, and D (so did B, but they're closer in age to E). We were also able to go out to N and S's house to play and swim with them. We also hit a lot of our local haunts - walking all over my home town, ice cream at Stewarts, visiting Carousel Mall, eating out at Friendly's (before having to move to an area that doesn't have one - this is my kids' FAVORITE restaurant) and spending lots of time with Nonni and Paika before moving so much further away. :(

After a little over a week (not enough time!) we headed to NJ. Hurray - we got to see Grandma and Grandpa and lots of Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins there. E loves babies so she was fascinated still by M and T - our new little cousins. Even B was pretty excited to see them though if E, M, and K were around, they only held his interest temporarily (true with E too, but to a lesser extent, she really loves babies, but she only sees E, M, and K once in a while too, so it was a hard choice). Those girls are so sweet. I know that at times it's hard to have younger cousins always wanting your attention, but they do well at entertaining and including them! :)

We also got to see the other side of the family there too. E and E enjoy each other more and more each time. It's so much fun to see them interact. We were very happy that Uncle Mark and Danielle got to come visit while we were there too! We are so sad to be moving away from them. It was amazing to have them just a couple of hours away! We miss you! I am also so happy that as much as our kids love playing with other kids, they ADORE their Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles. The joy they display when they get to see them is amazing. :)

We miss everyone in NY and NJ! Can't wait to see you all at Christmas!

Catch up Post #1 - Leaving Virginia

2011-10-07T14:54:00.002-04:00

I'm starting to catch up and I want to keep a bit of a record of our move so I'm going to start at the beginning.

The night before we left Virginia (a place I'm still pining for right now) we slept on cushions provided by our wonderful neighbor (thank you M!) and sleeping bags. None of us slept well and we were up at 5 am. We got everything clean and out to the car by 7:30 and we locked up and bid farewell to our townhouse. :( I took the kids to McDonald's for breakfast (a rare treat - I'm not a fan of fast food breakfast) and then took B to his last day of school. E and I spent 3 hours running our last few errands - the housing office (AGAIN), something to do with our car, and my memory has already failed me. But I remember that it was 3 things that I was a bit concerned about being back at school on time since it was a short day (about 2 hours). Then we picked B up and headed to NY. The good news is that the drive to NY went really well. The kids were good despite the fact that at the very beginning of our cross country journey our DVD player didn't seem to be working. I messed with it a bit and got it to work part way to NY. We arrived in better time than anticipated and were able to enjoy a relaxing evening with my parents and some great time in NY.

The emotions of leaving are something very different than my past experiences. Leaving NY the first time was scary but I knew we'd be back to visit a lot because my parents are there. Plus Brian and I had been living apart so it was a joy to be moving in together again!

Leaving Kansas was strange. I loved our time in Kansas. I had fantastic friends and have many wonderful memories. But the end was tough. I was so sick and everyone was moving around the same time so it just seemed to be time to move on. We were excited for our next adventure and to get settled before E was born.

Leaving Indiana had sad moments. Saying goodbye to S, J, C, and M was HARD on all of us. And leaving a church family that we really enjoyed was sad. But we were so excited to move to VA. We were moving so much closer to family and I already had some friends there (R, M, H, and K - I miss you all!) which really helped us settle in a bit faster and feel at home.

Virginia became home faster than anywhere else that we lived. We really were comfortable there. We made amazing friends there. We built a community around us. We had support. We had family that could get there easily. My brother-in-law even moved with in 2ish hours of us and we got to see him and his girlfriend frequently.

The adoption community that surrounded us made me feel like our child would be surrounded by Korean culture and other children who had the same background. What a comfort! We actually had extended family come visit us during the time we lived there. K, S, G and G - we miss you and your kids so much!

The program at school that my son was in was PERFECT for him! He was doing awesome there! He had great friends! He misses L and K a lot! My daughters preschool made me happy just to be there it was such a warm, loving, happy environment and I had friends there. She still tells me that we should move back to VA and not ever move again. Poor baby is struggling with this move.

I could go on and on. Our whole family has never been more at home anywhere. We knew eventually we'd have to move but to find out how soon it would be, and suddenly find out it would be without our child home from Korea, and that the room I'd prepared for him (or her) wouldn't be used, and that we'd not only be moving away from this community but as far away as you could get from the Northeast where we have family was a blow. This is the first move that took me away kicking and screaming (in my head). I have tried hard to have a good attitude. I am so thankful for my husband's job, I am so thankful that we're together as a family, I am so thankful for so many things, but this was an emotional blow. It still is to an extent but we're settling in and I know we can enjoy it for a couple of years.

We've had friends who have kept in touch (facebook is such a wonderful thing), we've even had my son's best friend keep in touch and he has amazing parents who are so supportive and helpful! I am so thankful, and I don't think I can express that enough to them!

When I picked B up from school that day and drove away I had tears in my eyes, but it was time to move on. I can't wait to go back, but I'm trying to enjoy the journey. I want to document this trip b/c traveling cross country was an amazing experience with the kids. The trip was also filled with so much emotion that I know I can't fully separate that from the experience. But this was the hardest part. Leaving. Next I'll share more about NY and NJ visits. :)

Catch up posts to come and a tiny bit of adoption news!

2011-10-04T00:04:00.003-04:00

I have been sadly neglecting this blog since moving. Part of it was hitting a wall with our adoption - having everything slow down significantly this spring really slowed my motivation. Then moving was just busy and somehow it seems once you've neglected your blog for a while - it's hard to get moving again. But this is my commitment to moving again. I have 2 kids who should have some memories preserved, which is one of the reasons for creating this blog. I'm not good at journaling in a book, so I'm using a blog. Well, in order for that to work, I actually need to post! So there will be some major catch up going on here starting with our trip this summer.

On the up side - I've heard that referrals are starting back up in November and it appears as though we actually have been waiting the longest at our agency so we are very hopefully to actually receive a referral in November. As I learn more I will update. Happy October! Enjoy the fall!

September 11

2011-09-10T23:39:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking of writing this post but it seems daunting. What to write? How to capture the emotions of 10 years ago? I'd like to though, so I can share it with my kids one day.

10 years ago tomorrow, when I woke up I thought "Hurray! We've been married 1 month! We'll celebrate tonight". Nothing much really, but it was a happy day.

I drove to school (at 5:45 am - so happy I don't commute to work anymore!) and settled in with my kids. During my planning period I heard a few strange rumors when I went into the office so I went to my classroom and turned on the radio (the cable was out at the school that day). One of my co-teachers and I listened to the slightly confused and amazed woman who was reporting about a plane flying into one of the towers. At that point they weren't sure why it had happened. People were mostly confused and worried for those inside the building, etc. Then we heard the true panic and astonishment as the second plane flew into the other tower. You could hear the pandemonium in the background of the radio broadcast. It felt so unreal, like it wasn't actually happening. We listened for the rest of our planning period. Just after turning it off we heard about the Pentagon (the office was across the hall from my classroom so sometimes news trickled in.

Then kids come into my classroom again and I had to act like everything was normal. We talked about it a lot with our kids after that day, but that day we didn't tell them, we let them go home and hear from their families. We needed time to process and understand what was going on. Our students had moderate to severe special needs and it wasn't appropriate to show them our shock and dismay right then.

By lunch I had heard about Flight 93 and when I got home that afternoon my husband and I sat at his fraternity house (he was a senior in college) and watched the footage that became the only thing anyone watched on tv for about a month (maybe not quite that long, but as I sit here and think back, I know that we watched it for a long time).

My thoughts and feelings that day, and in the days to come were both for the welfare of our nation, but also very personal (and I suppose selfish). I realized that day that my husband (who was in ROTC) would be going to war soon after he graduated. There had been talk of conflicts in the Middle East and possible US involvement, but I knew without a doubt that this cemented the decision. There would be war and my husband would go. I have to say that I did not react well to this realization. I clung to my husband in an unhealthy way. I let worry consume me for a while and it wasn't healthy for our marriage. I can see this all in retrospect, though I didn't realize it all at the time. Now I know that my husband can not be my everything. I have to cling to God for that, and trust that He will take care of our lives. I've learned a lot in the past 10 years. Our world changed a lot on that day.

It changed even more for the families of those who lost loved ones on that day. My husband and I are from NY and NJ. We both have family members whose stories scared us in retrospect, but we were fortunate that our families were safe. Today I hope that we can stand together as a nation, remember those who were lost and pray for their families. I know that those families have created new lives, but that they still missed their loved one every day.

I hope that we will remember the fire fighters, police officers, ambulance workers, National Guardsmen, citizens and volunteers who worked hard that day, and especially those who gave their lives that day. Sometimes I think we spent 6 months honoring all of those people, and then as our lives went back to normal we forget about all that they did that day. Today we should remember. I hope we can honor the military who later went to war to protect our nation from terrorists. They went over there, to keep us safe here, so that our lives could go on as normally as possible. The military portion could be a whole post to itself for me (or book) so I'll leave it there for today. For today I will remember and I will celebrate and praise God for the life that we have in the good ol' US of A!

Goodbye Sarah

2011-09-05T12:32:00.002-04:00

Earth lost a powerful force this weekend. A beautiful, caring, fun loving, amazing girl named Sarah. I know as a Christian I often struggle with why God would take someone like that away from this earth. I guess He just wanted her to be up with Him.
Please keep Sarah's family in your thoughts and prayers. Pray for peace and comfort for them. I've never known 3 sisters to be so close, and I can only begin to imagine the loss that they are feeling. R is one of my closest friends from college and I love her so much, and I love her family. I will be praying for them and remembering Sarah always.

'"For my thoughts are not your thoughts nor are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.' Isaiah 55:8

Please pray!

2011-09-01T18:59:00.002-04:00

My friend, Sarah, needs prayer. I'm not sure how much detail to share but she is currently hooked up to life support and things have definitely been touch and go. Please pray for her. Her sister is one of my dear friends and her family is wonderful. I am heartbroken and just pray for God's miraculous healing for her. And for His comfort for the family.

Thanks. I'm a bit distracted right now b/c I think about Sarah all the time right now, yet I'm not telling the kids why I'm so distracted and I feel kind of bad, but it's just so scary and sad, but not above God!

Check this out!

2011-08-20T00:08:00.002-04:00

My friend, Sonia, is working on bringing home her 3rd son in about 6ish months. I am still fathoming paying for 1 adoption and we've been working on this for coming up on 2 years. They are shaking out their piggy banks trying to bring Joshua home.

On top of that Joshua has a heart condition (and some other medical issues that you can read about on their blog) that means he needs to be home SOON! It's questionable whether or not his condition is operable so the plan is to get this boy home soon so he can know the love of a family. In the mean time we're praying that operations will be possible and healing will be complete. But getting him home is the first hurdle.

Please help them out by sharing this blog, praying for this family, and if possible chip in to their wonderful give-away! Those bracelets look awesome (I already bought one for E, hoping to win one for me!). :)

10 years ago today...

2011-08-11T17:11:00.002-04:00

I married the most amazing man in the world (sorry to all of you who think you did, but I actually did)! :)

10 things I've learned in 10 years of marriage:

1. The first year of marriage is HARD. I think we do a disservice to young couples by calling it a "honeymoon period" b/c it gives the impression that it's downhill from there. Let me tell you, it's all been better since the first year. And it just keeps getting better!

2. Sometimes separation can help bring you closer.

3. Men and women communicated differently - I've learned to be blunt and not hint around at what I'm trying to talk about. It has helped a lot!

4. Lists are hard - even though you know you've learned a lot, it's hard to recall it when you're making a list.

5. Even though Brian is the love of my life, I still do need other friends. He can't be my everything. I needed to learn to rely on God for that.

6. We grow closer with time in all ways and enjoy time together more and more.

7. Kids can make marriage more interesting rather than putting it on a back burner.

8. Sometimes you have to work to make your marriage a priority over soccer practice, volunteer opportunities, work, and yes, even your children. Not saying your children's needs are ignored, just that you remember that your marriage really needs to be a priority! That helps our children feel secure.

9. Did I mention that I married the best man in the whole world? I've learned this more and more over the years.

10. I'm constantly learning and amazed at God's awesome work in our lives and how that really led us to where we are. We never would have gotten here on our own.

I want to share one last bit of news that has me celebrating and SO excited!!!! Read my friend, Becky's post here: Day by Day Just so happy for them!!! I can't wait to meet Joshua!

First day of school and 13 months!

2011-08-09T18:59:00.002-04:00

So the two dates above were the same day. Yesterday my kids started school. Being from the northeast I find starting school in August slightly sacrilegious but it was actually a good thing. The kids needed a place to go make friends and all 3 of us were craving some routine after 7 weeks for abnormality (which also means my son only had 7 weeks of vacation, sssshhhhh - don't tell). I kept thinking we were traveling for longer than we were. I've lost all sense of time. Apparently we only traveled for 5 weeks and we got here 2 weeks ago.

How it went:

E's initial reaction was not quite positive. She packed up quickly the moment she saw me, ran over and said "Just like I thought, I didn't make any friends!" but much of her later report was more positive. She did play with one girl, her teacher is nice, and she liked a lot of things that they did. She is really struggling with this move and it's heartbreaking for me because I can't make it better.

B had a much more positive reaction. They went to the playground 3 times and he played with kids and had fun. He's feeling more comfortable than E but it takes time. He seems to remember that it took him time in VA and isn't getting too impatient. He did come home with a worksheet today where he wrote the following sentence that broke my heart: "I can trust my best friend, L, because he's nice and we play together." L lives in VA and I know B really misses him. Hopefully we can get skype up and running and skype with L soon.

13 months since HSTK. Hopefully only a few more left and we'll finally see our baby's sweet face. Plus I'm hoping a few of my friends and I will have similar timelines for traveling to Korea (K!) - how cool would be to finally meet there?!? Our home study is moving forward. Our interviews are next week and our home visit is fairly soon after (we think). Fortunately my amazing friend Becky came and helped me unpack today! We got the kids' toy room all set up and I am so thankful!!! Hopefully I'll get pictures up soon. :)

Random thoughts on Arizona, moving, and the adoption process

2011-08-05T11:56:00.004-04:00

We're in AZ. We've been here for a week and a half. It's definitely a different area but we're mostly enjoying it. Though we miss VA a lot!

We have a house full of boxes. We're working on getting those unpacked. Next week when school starts I can probably get even more done. It seems like right now it's a lot of start and stops so having a couple of uninterrupted hours in a row will definitely help.

We had an obnoxious mover who thought it was his business to push and push about why we were adopting internationally instead of domestically. I find this so frustrating because it's rarely from someone who wants to sit down and listen to our reasons, it's just from someone who wants to judge us for not doing what they seem to think we should do. Thanks - did you adopt? No? Then why do you feel you know more about it than I do? Sorry, this really irritated me.

E was a huge help in unpacking the kitchen. She would take something out of the box, sit on the floor (in case the object was fragile), unwrap it and bring it to me. If it was kid dishes she would put them away herself. What a huge helper! :) Later both kids helped in this way, but E was the one who truly enjoyed it.

Did you know that some times here if you get a soda from the fountain it looks like it's running out. The soda part and syrup part come out separated. B thinks it looks like a candy cane. It tastes the same, just strange.

When you first arrive here you really notice the brown everywhere (this was especially true in May - this is definitely the "green" time of year) but after a bit you start to look out and see the beauty of the mountains and how awe-inspiring it is here.

B chose his school. We looked into different schools around here (local school, on post, and a brand new charter school). B learned about the schools and visited and chose where he wanted to go (even though he has to wear a uniform). He's really excited and thinks his school is going to be great! I love his enthusiasm. I wasn't sure it would be there this year. E is super excited about her preschool. Both kids can't wait to make new friends.

Speaking of new friends - we got together with Sandra's friend C and her 2 kids. Thank you so much Sandra! It is wonderful to have a friend here and the kids had a wonderful time. I miss you though!

Our home study is moving along. It's a bit frustrating that our agency is about 4 hours away but the plan right now is to go out on a Sunday and do our joint interview Monday and our individual interviews Tuesday. Still working on what to do with the kids during the joint interview. Hopefully we can figure something out. :)

Day 21 of travel!

2011-07-14T22:44:00.003-04:00

First - thank you so much to all who left encouragement on my blog! Your kind words, verses, etc. are so greatly appreciated! I don't know that I could ever express how much it means to me!!! Thank you!

Not much news just wanted to tell you that I'm still here. We've been to NY, NJ, IN, and now we're in Nashville, TN. We did hear that our "application has been approved" from our home study agency. Hopefully we'll be moving forward soon.

We also found out that our household goods still exist and that we WILL be able to get them one day! :) It took almost 3 weeks to find out about them - no one wanted to call us or email us back. I decided to be annoying but politely so - I emailed and left (polite) voice mail messages a few times a day for 2 days and someone called me! :) Not sure if they would have anyway but glad to have an idea of what is going on. We'll have our things at our house by August 2! :)

Last piece of good news - E got into a preschool (she was on 2 waiting lists)! :) I got to talk to my new friend, C, today that Sandra so kindly connected me with! I am excited to meet her! She recommended this preschool! Praise God! Things are coming together, slowly but surely!!!

Have a great weekend!

A day we didn't think we'd see...

2011-07-08T08:50:00.002-04:00

1 year ago today we were HSTK. We were told that we were likely to receive a referral in 4-6 months. Every few months since then something new has come up and it has not been the journey we expected. But I know that God is in control and He has a plan. I have to trust in His timing and not get upset by delays. Of course financially this move is tough. The cost of a brand new home study as well as the amount we're going to have to pay each time they do a home visit (or interview, etc.) is much more than we'd originally budgeted for. But I know that the money we have is not our own and I need to have faith in God's plan.

I hope you all had a great 4th of July! We did and this weekend the kids and I are blessed to have time with my in-laws PLUS my brother-in-law and his girlfriend. It will be such a fun day today so that will be a terrific distraction from my own thoughts! :) Have a great weekend!!!

Update: Application sent, in NY

2011-06-24T19:34:00.003-04:00

Well we finally sent our "application" in to Dillon Southwest (not to be confused with Dillon that is in the rest of the country which even our agency didn't realize until talking to them). It was a lot of work so we're definitely celebrating being done. Hopefully our 8 reference letters (yes 8) will be there soon and we can plan our interviews and home visit so this can get approved for a (hopefully) fall referral.

Brian is in AZ. No household goods, but at least we're getting there. Baby steps. I am very excited to see my friend, Becky when we get to AZ. It is such a blessing and comfort to know that I'll have a friend just an hour away.

The wildfires are 59% under control (which is good - it was 17% not long ago) and most evacuations have been lifted at this time. Praise God! Praying for rain to put those fires out completely.

We're in NY visiting family. It's wonderful to be here though hard to be in transition. We miss everyone in Virginia but it's a bit surreal that we've actually left and we're not just on vacation. I can't express how wonderful everyone was. Saying goodbye was HARD. I made some amazing friends, a few only in the past year but they came to be such terrific friends I didn't want to leave (K, S, and G - miss you already!)! I know we'll be back, which helps. It's still hard to know I can't see them whenever we want. When it starts to seem real I get sad but then I get busy with family and just go back to not really believing we're gone. I'll face reality eventually. ;)

Packers are here, fire?!?

2011-06-17T10:19:00.002-04:00

It's been a crazy month. I haven't blogged much. We're in the process of moving, a bit sooner than expected. We're headed to Arizona (via NY, NJ, IN - yeah, not quite the right direction so this is a long trip). It's been a lot of work getting ready for this.

On top of that we've been re-doing ALL of our adoption paperwork. Almost done! That will be mailed out Monday morning! We need our lab work to come back so the docs can sign off on everything.

We've had a few hang ups with getting our things moved, then I ended up not feeling well yesterday and today, and my brake lights are out and need to be fixed before we moved. These are the things I've been worried about, but they really pale in comparison to a new concern...

There are hugs wildfires in the part of AZ we're moving to. The very southern part of our new hometown has been evacuated and the 10 day forecast does not have a drop of rain. Instead there's sun and wind (not helpful!). Please pray for rain for AZ. Monsoon season should be starting in a few weeks, but it hasn't hit yet. Please pray that those rains will come very soon.

Thanks. I'll keep you posted on what I hear.

Is it Wednesday?

2011-06-01T15:57:00.003-04:00

B had a fever from Thursday afternoon until yesterday. He's on antibiotics (when I called to get him in the doctor's offices on base were all closed for the 4-day so we finally went to the ER Monday and he got some meds). He has a sinus infection and bronchial spasms. It changed some plans but we still got to see my wonderful brother-in-law and his awesome girlfriend who came to visit us (B's fever had subsided for a full 24 hours so we thought he was better before they came. It came back that night).

B was finally back at school today! Hurray! And I got to see my friends S and C and their daughter! But I still have trouble remembering it's Wednesday, so no whatnot today - but do check out Elizabeth's blog - it's great!!!

Adjusting our plans

2011-05-27T10:28:00.002-04:00

Well, SWS (the Korean agency that our American agency partners with) has run out of EPs (exit permits, the number of children the Korean government allows be adopted internationally each year) for the year. It's fairly early this year but they gave out a lot of referrals early in the year which is unusual from what I've heard.

Our agency has said that they aren't going to give out any more referrals until fall to keep the time between referral and travel on the shorter side (3-4 months). Travel is likely to resume around late January (again, according to our agency's best guess based on their phone conversation with SWS). Other agencies that work with SWS are just saying that the wait for travel has increased a whole lot. Not sure which is accurate. Not sure which is better. The unknown of who our child is and what the future holds is starting wear on us. But I know once I see that sweet child's face I will want him (or her) in my arms SOON!

What does this mean for us? For those of you who don't know, we're moving to Arizona. Our original plans were that we wouldn't be leaving this area until late summer (believing we'd have a referral and USCIS approval by then). Now we're taking the summer to move out and get settled. It works out better for B and E because there's no concern about them starting school on time. We're taking a bit of a cross country trip and it'll be about 2 weeks for the kids and I to get out there (fortunately only 3-4 of those nights will be in hotels). Brian is going to spend those two weeks working and unpacking (don't I have the best husband ever! - then again, he doesn't have to drive cross country with kids....). When we get there we should be able to get settled pretty quickly and get moving on our home study update. Our agency here is contacting Dillon in AZ to facilitate this. Hopefully we'll talk with them early next week so we can do things like get medical exams, etc. done here before we move to save time. Hopefully we'll get everything updated and then we won't have to wait long for a referral.

We have prayed for God to work out the details of our move and our adoption. This is NOT the answer I wanted, but I know it's part of God's will and we will know that it is "good, pleasing, and perfect" once we see how it all unfolds.
These two verses continue to come to mind:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Whatnot Wednesday: Disney Edition

2011-05-25T10:10:00.004-04:00

We went to Disney a couple of weeks ago and I need to blog about it before I forget the precious (and not so precious) moments. :)

*E started saying "That was awesome!!!!" (really stretching out the awesome) after almost every ride. She'd pump her fists in the air and get all excited. Very cute. Very much encouraged, especially by Uncle M and D (my BIL's wonderful girlfriend who came on the trip too). We did get a video, one day I'll put it on facebook. She'll probably be in middle school. That's how good I am at getting videos up anywhere.

*B is a thrill seeker. The faster the better! His favorite rides were Expedition Everest, Space Mountain (which is faster and darker since the renovation they did - I liked when it was tame with the neon signs personally...), Rockin' Roller Coaster, Dinosaur, Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain (these two were "tame" for him but he still loves them).

*E also loved the thrills - that she was tall enough to enjoy anyway. Dinosaur, Splash and Thunder Mountain were her faves. But she still enjoyed Fantasyland and other tamer rides as well.

*A downpour and a spitting camel can be real highlights of a trip. Even to Disney.

*When we're at home B feels he's a bit too old for Disney characters. But while we're at Disney - he's still in awe. It's so cute to see his face when a character is coming over. His grin was so big it lit up the room.

*My kids both need sleep while we're on vacation. We really thought we could get away with few naps and slightly off bed times without meltdowns this time around. At least for B. Unfortunately we forgot who we were dealing with. My boy NEEDS his sleep! He is a different person when he's overtired and we saw that a bit more than expected. Both kids took naps a few times during the week. When that happened we generally had a great evening, so we embraced it rather trying to push through the day without a nap.

*I finally learned how to say "Please stand clear of the doors" in Spanish. This is my 8th trip to Disney with my husband and/or his family. The first trip I took with them they used to recite it each time on the monorail and I tried to figure it out. It took me 7 more trips and 11 years to get to that point... Big accomplishment. Just don't ask me to type it, I didn't say I could spell it.

* We went to a princess lunch at Norway. It was wonderful and despite his protests B enjoyed it quite a bit. He ended up wanting to have his picture taken with Belle and then he had a great time with Grandpa, Paika (my Dad) and Uncle M while E saw Princess after princess (and LOVED it!).

*Girl's tea with my Mom, MIL, D, and E (oh, and me) was wonderful. E was dressed like a princess and ordered scones and strawberries and E had chocolate tea (chocolate milk - glad she ordered it b/c she tried everyone else's tea and didn't like it). She did go around the table and put sugar cubes in for everyone who wanted one. She acted like the hostess throughout and loved it!

*B really enjoyed the parades and fireworks. It's the one time he enjoyed slowing down and watching. Otherwise it was go, go go. But he definitely enjoyed each parade and show that he went to. He also got to go to Fantasmic (one of my favorites) with Brian. They had fun, but he was scared. Brian said it was pretty cute to see him get so nervous and kind of cling to him. He's often such the big boy now, but he is just 7.

"I Wish for You a Beautiful Life" OR "What not to read while you're sitting on a plane in the middle seat b/w 2 strangers"

2011-05-20T23:14:00.002-04:00

So I was traveling this week. I was on a plane in the middle seat, between two strangers (yes, you probably figured that out from the title) and I read " I Wish for You a Beautiful Life: Letters from the Korean Birth Mothers of Ae Ran Won to Their Children"

An AMAZING book that gave insight into some Korean culture, as well as reading some very raw emotions from Birth Mothers. Needless to say - I was SOBBING! In the middle seat. Between two strangers. Big UGLY cry that I was trying to keep silent and discreet. Of course, I'm sure I failed but the people on either side of me kindly ignored me.

I would HIGHLY recommend reading this if you are an adoptive parent. Honestly it's a great read for anyone that has an interest in adoption or Korean culture. I read the book in a very short period of time - maybe 2 hours? It didn't take long and it was very engrossing. But I would highly recommend tissues and privacy! Definitely makes for an easier read...

A year and a half...

2011-05-16T07:36:00.003-04:00

Today is the 18 month mark. It's officially been 1 1/2 years since we started this process. Hoping we see that beautiful face soon.

Just to make it clear - we're not with Eastern, I'm just praying for those families (and personally praying that SWS doesn't end up with the same issues soon, this scares me). I know this is all in God's hands and I have to give it up to Him daily and let go of what I can't control.

Have a great day everyone!

10 months and update

2011-05-14T20:50:00.002-04:00

OK, last Sunday marked 10 months since HSTK. Not a milestone I ever wanted to meet but here it is, one week after that and still waiting. Praying it's this week but trying not to have my expectations low.

We also got news that the director of the Korea program at our agency is moving to a different position and there is going to be a new director of the Korea program. I have mixed feelings. I'll miss S - I really like her. I was thrilled to see A, our Social Worker, was taking her place because I like her a lot, I'm also concerned because I know S has a good rapport with Korea and A is new in this position. I'm hoping they take their time with the transition. I'm beginning to think we may need them to advocate for us since we've been waiting longer than most at our agency (maybe 1 or 2 other families waiting as long).

Also our fingerprints need to be renewed. They expire after 15 months which is the beginning of August, so we're filling out the paperwork for that. Not something I'm excited about but not too difficult either so I figure it could be worse.

We got both of those emails today when we got home from Disney World! More on that trip later, but suffice to say that two exhausted parents getting info like that isn't ideal. But again, I know it could be much tougher.

Speaking of worse - ESWS released some crushing news. They ran out of EPs - as of December 1, 2010. Therefore starting December 2 there is a 14 month wait for travel. That's heartbreaking. Can you imagine staring at your child's face for 14 months without being able to hold him/her? Prayers for those families and those children who are in foster homes, becoming more attached to foster parents, not knowing that they have yet to meet their forever families. That is not likely to make for an easy transition.

So please keep Eastern Families in your prayers! And I'll stop my whining and pray too. Sound like a plan?

Whatnont Wednesday

2011-04-23T00:05:00.005-04:00

Hi! Welcome to another edition of Whatnot Wednesday and don't forget to check out Elizabeth's blog to see the originator of Whatnot Wednesdays and link to others or link up yourself and join in the fun. :)

* I have a 7 year old boy. That means that I should really learn to sew or buy stock in pants because my boy puts so many wholes in his pants it's ridiculous. First of all, he is this skinny kid who needs 8 SLIM with the adjustable waistband pulled all the way to the last button. If I don't buy slim then the adjustable waistband by itself isn't enough. This said, it's not easy to find pants that fit him (and that he is willing to wear). So when he goes through them like water it's enough to make Mama want to pull her hair out! We are on a budget here darling boy, trying to save for an adoption. But, I want my kids to run and play and be kids. So I bite my tongue and buy more pants with a joyful and thankful heart. I love my active boy and wouldn't trade him for the world. So I count my blessings and look for good sales!

*"I'm still learning" Any time my angelic little girl does something...er...less than angelic she first bursts into tears when my voice is anything but pleased with her (she is quite sensitive, takes after me so I can't fault her here). Once she has calmed down, we've discussed it, and she's been repentant she will look at my with her BIG brown eyes and say "You know Mommy, I'm still learning". Yes baby girl, and you will be your entire life (these conversations always end with big hugs).

*At B's school one of the centers they have is letter writing. So B and his friend L have written back and forth in class. They also wrote letters in class to someone who lives out of town and B wrote to his friend C in Indiana (S - did you get it yet?). He was so excited to send out the letter. During spring break I had the kids draw pictures for my parents (we had to mail something back to them so I stuck them in with it) and B spontaneously decided to write my parents a note on the back. You have to understand that the one thing B has always hated doing is writing. This was pretty exciting! Thank you Ms. M for getting my child excited about writing!!!

*Did you all have a wonderful Easter? I hope so. We enjoyed our service at church more than expected. We had a family service (meaning no child care, kids are with you in service) which I was personally dreading. B goes with us to the beginning of each service and he's pretty miserable for the 15ish minutes he's in there so an entire service did not sound like fun. We've been talking with him for the past few weeks about this and Easter went surprisingly well. We realized once we got there that E could have gone to class, it was only the older classes that were canceled, but since we'd set the expectation we didn't tell her and kept both kids with us. They were fantastic! Thank you God! Here's hoping we're turning a corner on that front with B.

*I've decided to give up Diet Coke. I have a bit of an addiction. I'm only doing 2 weeks, but it could be a long 2 weeks. The past 2 days I've had quite a headache by 7, here's hoping we can do a bit better today. Here's hoping I don't go postal if I don't get a referral next week and have also gone a week w/o Diet Coke.... :)

Whatnot Wednesday: Spring Break edition

2011-04-20T22:33:00.004-04:00

OK, I missed last week but I'm determined to do today (even if there's only an hour and a half left of today and I should be asleep). B and E are on spring break this week so we're enjoying a fun week at home. Usually I travel any chance I get but we didn't plan anything this year and I'm enjoying the (relatively) calm week at home.

* Friday was E's Easter party at preschool. They had a parade at the end where they wore their Easter bonnets (made out of paper plates and plastic flowers) or Easter ties (made out of paper and stickers/flowers/etc). It was very cute. All week E could not wait! She loves Fancy Nancy and kept telling us she was excited for her Easter Gala (Gala is a fancy word for party) BUT she would say her Easter Gallup! At first I thought that's b/c it's a parade but I did figure out that she was mispronouncing Gala. I didn't really want to correct her b/c it was cute as can be. Do you have any words/phrases that your kids use that you just don't want to correct?

* The weather tonight was beautiful! It's my goal to get the kids out walking more. We took a 3 mile walk this evening. They did extremely well! The first mile and a half they loved (it included climbing on rocks in the creek and stopping to throw rocks in water) and the hard core whining didn't hit until the last half mile. We got home and B was walking around like he had just run a marathon. It was cute as can be!

* My kids think Spring Break should mean they don't have to sleep any more. E asks to skip her nap daily and B is still up at crazy hours at night (reading). I have to take his books away. Don't get me wrong - I am THRILLED that my son loves to read. But seriously! If I forget to take the books out of his bed and specifically tell him he's done, he'll still be reading at 11 pm by the light of his night light (child - your eyes are going to suffer!). I want to be mad but he takes after his Mommy so much I have to laugh. :)

My brain isn't working and I haven't thought to keep track of my thoughts lately so this is it for now. But I did talk to S at our agency today. The update is that there are a couple of people ahead of us, but things are not necessarily going in chronological order. We were told any time from April to June and that hasn't changed. Her best guess is about a month. I guess we'll see.

Quite a while ago I chose a date I thought (at the time) was far out - further than would be necessary - to kind of let go until then. OK, my grammar in that sentence is horrible - it's late - I'm not fixing it. This date kept coming to mind starting in about November and finally I embraced it (it took a lot longer than it should have for me to let go). Anyway, that date is now in less than 2 weeks. Still possible, but now I have to face the definite possibility that we may go past that date. But I know it will happen in God's perfect timing. I'm thankful for our lives and I know that I will be so thankful one day that this long wait brought us to the specific child that will join our family! :)

17 months...

2011-04-16T09:38:00.004-04:00

OK! It's a milestone and we've GOT to be close, right?!?! Trying hard to stay positive. We started this process 17 months ago and to be quite honest I don't think I ever really imagined it would be this long before we saw a picture, but I know we're close. I know that there is a child that our family is just right for, and we will be fully ready to welcome that child home.

Today I'm focusing on today. We're starting spring break! The kids are thrilled! I ran this morning (always helpful for my sanity!), and....I get to go have my hair done! I know that sounds silly but often this is something I squeeze in when I have a chance, wherever they take walk-ins. For my birthday this year I wanted to go to a salon where they can help me find a style, color, etc. and it's all scheduled! I'm so excited! I know that's silly and it's hard for me to spend this kind of money but I'm looking forward to it too. :)

Have a great day!

9 months..overdue?!

2011-04-08T13:58:00.002-04:00

OK, it's been 9 months. No referral. Looks like I'm overdue! Wish I had a good picture of me on the computer 9 months pregnant but I think I avoided cameras like the plague at that point!

The non-waiting is going pretty well. I'm still hopeful, and at times I just REALLY want to know, but I'm not getting anxious like I was so that is a blessing! Thanking God that He has given me peace! But definitely praying for news soon!

Also, please check out this fundraiser and heartbreaking story. See if you can help make an impact! http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2011/04/dream-come-true-giveaway.html

Whatnot Wednesdays with Elizabeth

2011-04-06T13:41:00.006-04:00

OK, I'm attempting to join my friend Elizabeth over at Every Day the Wonderful Happens with Whatnont Wednesdays. I'm not always the most technologically advanced but I'll give it a try (the linking part is the area I'm not sure about).

- I subbed in E's school today. It's the first time I've "taught" in a LONG time. Every time E saw me she'd yell out "Mommy!" Not surprising, but the kids in her class were confused to see me in the class next door too and kept asking me about it. Apparently I was a side show and I felt bad for how distracting I was to the other class. Too bad the class I was in didn't find me quite so interesting and were happy to let their attention drift anywhere and everywhere else!

- There's a little boy in E's class who is from South Korea. He's adorable, sweet, and incredibly smart! Korean is his first language. I greet him in Korean and he laughs and yells "that's Korean!". Then I say "The Weather is Nice" in Korean and he looks at me like I have 3 heads. Yes folks, apparently my Korean is THAT bad!
I also asked him to tell me how to say dinosaur in Korean. He wouldn't do it. He wanted to teach me colors, not dinosaurs. So - any help? How do you say dinosaur in Korean?

- Sometimes when I'm on the phone with someone I feel like I'm speaking another language. I've had to make several phone calls to make appointments, etc. lately and I always feel like they don't understand what I'm asking? Am I that hard to follow? Does this happen to anyone else?

- I've found one of the best ways to get telemarketers off the phone right now is honesty! I'm sorry, I can't give you money, every cent I have is being saved towards our adoption. Most people say, thanks, good luck and hang up! It's a miracle! :) However, I still can't get those automated places to stop calling. :( Apparently a few people who had our number before us had some financial problems b/c there are about 3 people that we STILL get phone calls about. We've had this number for over 2 years!

- We are really enjoying the fact that B can now play more advanced games. Apples to Apples Jr. is a favorite of both kids (hurray - so much better than Candy Land!) and B's new favorite is Risk. It's a long game and we're not likely to finish one with him for quite a while, but it's fun to see him learn, strategize (?), and get better at this game over time! It's so neat to see him as he is growing up!

- My cousin was coming for dinner. His name is Adam. E kept asking when Alex was coming. I kept correcting her and telling her Adam. Finally I said that we do have a cousin Alex, but this is Adam and she must have given herself a mnemonic device to remember it because a little while later she came upstairs and asked "Mommy, when is Eve coming?"

I bust out laughing and she corrects herself quickly.

OK, so if you really want to laugh - check out Elizabeth's blog and see her Whatnot Wednesday. Woo-hoo! The button worked! Click the button at the top of the post! :) Hurray!

Revelation: Timing

2011-03-28T14:05:00.003-04:00

OK, last time I said I had a revelation recently that I wanted to share. It has to do with timing. It may seem like common sense but apparently I needed the sense knocked into me!

I've been looking at our adoption timeline and I've had in mind how it should work. The best (in my opinion) timing for our family for the immediate future. There are things going on this summer that would make my timing much better than than other timing. At least I think so. Then a funny thing happened....I realized....the IMMEDIATE future is so much smaller than our WHOLE lives as a family! (Duh! Common Sense!!!)

I started thinking about more than just the next few months and realized that exact timing may or may not be a bit of a hassle but in the long run it won't matter.

I also realized that God's perfect timing in the past didn't always seem perfect at the time. A BIG example of this just dawned on my husband and I this weekend:

I don't think, if I had known the future and had control over it, I would have chosen to be pregnant, have a baby and enjoy my child's first 4 months with my husband in Iraq. This timing seems slightly absurd! Afterwards we always have said that a LOT of good came out of that, which is true. I could go on and on about how close we grew as a couple and what an AMAZING Daddy Brian is (which may not have anything to do with the deployment but the way he dove right in to Daddy-hood the moment he stepped off that plane was amazing!).

BUT we realized something much bigger. We were talking about his deployment and pregnancy and suddenly it hit me - I said "Honey, if you had been home during my pregnancy with B....would we have E?

Silence. Then "No, probably not."

I was ready to move to adoption with B's pregnancy but Brian wanted to experience it (did he ever regret that while I was pregnant, but he was thrilled to have his little girl).

WOW! Does God know what He's doing or what? It wasn't my timing but His perfect timing. He knew not to have Brian home, He knew we'd move to adoption but He wanted us to wait. He brought E into our lives first. Now it's time. Soon we will know the child that He has prepared our family for. Not just for the past 16 1/2 months, but for years! His timing isn't only concerning the next few months and how convenient that will be, but for the life of our family! So much bigger than how I was thinking.

This was quite the revelation!

Check out this post about Russian judges not allowing the adoption of a child because the child has Down's Syndrome:

http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/2011/03/will-you-join-us.html

Absolutely absurd and heartbreaking!

My Kids' Future Careers

2011-03-24T22:20:00.003-04:00

E's preschool is currently doing Community Helpers week and with that they're discussing careers (and having people come in to talk about their careers - but I didn't think they needed someone to come tell them what a teacher does so I'm not one of the volunteers). The kids often tell me what they want to be when the grow up (and it frequently changes) but I also have ideas of what I think they'll be (also changes, but a bit more consistent) based on their strengths.

B is very strong at math and spacial awareness (except awareness of his own body - but that's a completely different skill). He won an award in the 1st grade for his math skills, and he's always been great at puzzles. He's amazing at building things. Give that child Legos or some such thing and he can build it! He follows the directions very well, but after the first time he likes to change things up and create a bit differently. My in-laws have TONS of Legos and he will sit in the middle of a bunch of Legos and create all kinds of things. When my FIL or BIL or husband are helping he makes the coolest castles and creations! I'm so impressed (he did not inherit this skill from me!). So I think he'll be an architect or engineer!

Of course he's mentioned construction worker, fire fighter, NFL player (sorry honey- NOT happening), and soldier (like Daddy). So maybe the Army Corps of Engineers is in his future?
Of course my boy is also an avid reader and would probably do well taking after his Paika with writing stories, but right now he doesn't love writing (too much work) so we'll have to wait and see.

E is a people person. She is my social butterfly with a HUGE heart! Her preschool teacher told me at the parent-teacher conference that E is very compassionate towards the other children - more so than most 4 year olds (my blog, I get to brag a bit) so I know this is a huge strength of hers. This morning she was (yet again) singing one of her songs and I realized her calling - she's going to write lyrics for Christian artists! She makes up adorable songs and they always include God and Jesus loving everyone. Now they definitely ramble a bit, but for 4, I'm impressed (yes, yes, I'm a TAD bit biased about my child's brilliance). OK, she's not as easy to nail down as B, to be honest. But I'm sure it will involve that huge heart of hers!

Her current desire is to be a veterinarian. She loves animals. She really enjoyed our current trip to the zoo and I think it inspired her. Brian is excited because he used to want to be a vet when he was young. Her Aunt S would also be proud since she is a vet!

Just wanted to share where my kids are at and some of my random thoughts. No adoption news to share. Gave up waiting so we're just hanging out and will let you know if there's news. Feel hopeful but not anticipatory which is fairly amazing! Thank you God! I'll share my revelation on this soon.

Greater than Hope and 16 months

2011-03-16T13:18:00.000-04:00

Hope continues. I will hope until that hope is fulfilled. But even greater than hope, is love.

The love I have for our child even though I don't know who this child is.

There's also the love from family and friends that is sometimes so wonderful and overwhelming that it brings tears to my eyes.

The love I have for these wonderful people in our lives.

Love is a gift and I am so thankful for that! "And now these three remain, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor 13:13

It's been 16 months since we started this crazy journey and the wait was really starting to get to me. So yesterday, after an emotional roller coaster of a day, I decided to give up waiting for lent (yes, I'm a week late, I'm not Catholic so it's not something I feel compelled to do unless I have a good thing to give up). I think it will be healthy for me and good for our family. ;)

I'm not giving up hope, just the anxiety of waiting. Hopefully in that time we'll get a referral and that would be fantastic! If not, then we'll be much closer by the time Easter is here. My anxiety isn't going to make it happen any faster. I have no control, so I'm putting my faith in the One who does, and trusting His perfect timing!

Is there such a thing as too much hope?

2011-03-12T20:59:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to anticipate Monday and Tuesday. Knowing that referrals only come in on two days is different. There is a lot of pressure on two days now. I put a lot of hope in two days. Honestly, I think I do better the rest of the week not spending each day waiting! But it definitely makes for 2 days where I am distracted, unable to focus on anything else, frustrated, dreaming, wondering why the phone isn't ringing, and majorly disappointed Tuesday afternoon. I'm trying to stop anticipating it so much. I'm trying to prepare myself for no news.

But then again - what is life without hope?

The Joy of 8 months...

2011-03-08T09:18:00.001-05:00

OK, I've hit 8 months. That means we're close! Right?!?!
Some happy things to share today:

1. Ella is helping me clean the house, singing "I love cleaning, I love cleaning! I'm a cleaning Princess!" Sure- you can be a cleaning princess if you're willing to help me clean!

2. On the way to bring B to school (today - at the 8 month mark which they know nothing about) we were listening to music and all of a sudden E sighed and said "When is our baby coming?!?" "Next week?" - ah, no. We discussed the timeline just enough for me to say that it could be a couple of weeks after our trip in May or a couple of months, we don't know. Then B piped up "I hope it's just a couple of weeks!" (me too, Buddy, me too) - his excitement to have his brother or sister home was apparent in his voice. He doesn't talk about it much but when he does it warms my soul! Hearing my two angels talk about their brother or sister is music to my ears! They are (almost) as excited as I am!

3. I have a sense of peace today that I didn't expect. Praise God! I am hopeful but not anxious. Hurray! Ask me in a week and I can't guarantee the same response...

Happy Day!

2011-03-02T13:22:00.000-05:00

Since all of you were so encouraging during my frustrating Monday I thought I'd share a bit of happiness today! :) We went to a Waiting Parents' Meeting last night which was encouraging. We did find out that almost all referrals for our agency are coming on Mondays and Tuesdays so I can contain my craziness to two days. Today is a wonderful, non-waiting day. I think it's good for me to let it go for the week! :)

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss! E had green eggs and ham at preschool. Her teacher said she's a good eater and had 2nds. :) That's my girl! B is my picky eater and would not have been excited about it, but E loves all kinds of food. She even had a few bites of the DELICIOUS Korean food we had yesterday with Grace and Carson! It was a bit too spicy for her but she did have another bite and said that it's good even though it's spicy. :)

Kind of a random assortment of thoughts. I can tell that my mood is very much affected by weather and the sun is shining bright today! What a happy day!

Congrats to everyone who has received TCs, referrals, approvals, or sent HSTK! Lots of movement going on - what a blessing!

Mondays

2011-02-28T13:36:00.000-05:00

I think Mondays are the hardest right now. Fridays are tough because you're approaching a "no news" time but then you spend so much timing anticipating Monday that you build it up. And for no real reason, it's just another day. You just have more time to anticipate it and then when there's no news on Monday I cry. The rest of the week I do a lot better with no news, Mondays I cry - for 3 weeks in a row (OK, last week it was Tuesday b/c Monday was a holiday).

Sorry this isn't a very uplifting post. I'm so happy for so many of you, I'm just having a tough day.

Jumping for Joy for Jenny!

2011-02-26T19:12:00.000-05:00

OK, I have followed my friend, Jenny's blog for a long time. She waited a LONG 8ish (sorry, couldn't remember exact numbers) months for a referral for a beautiful baby boy in Ethiopia. Then they had to wait a few months to travel and meet their son. THEN they had to come home without him! Torture! FINALLY, today he is in their arms! Jai is with his Mommy and Daddy. Go check out their post. I had tears in my eyes when I saw the title! Hurray!
I just had to share!

Keeping occupied!

2011-02-25T22:00:00.000-05:00

I'm still waiting and I haven't had a ton to write lately. I should write about Ella's USA day (it was today and adorable) and Ben's award (I need to brag on my boy) and life in general. But I haven't been terribly motivated. Maybe this weekend.

I have been keeping a bit busier. My kids' closet is almost cleaned out! I've been going through baby clothes, getting rid of too small or not cute enough to keep clothes. Keeping girls and boys separate (actually boy clothing is actually in the dresser, girl clothes in tubs to *likely* be donated - if I have to switch it around later, that's fine).

I got to see Sandra and "Little" Ben this week (E's name for Ben) and did some shopping (and eating) at Hmart. Also I made Kimbap for dinner one night and Japchae is set to be made (for the first time) tomorrow. Forgive my romanization - I'm never entirely sure how to spell Korean words that way.

I also saw my friend M and we're getting together next week as well. We've been friends since college but we're finally getting a bit better at taking advantage of living so close to each other. She volunteered to help take my mind off of the wait on her days off or days when she has a more flexible schedule. :)

Today I also bought a diaper bag. I've failed at not buying anything before referral but this is something I want for some upcoming travel we have anyway so it's not strictly baby related - just mostly. :) I have to say I really enjoy having the high chair sitting in our kitchen/dining area. It makes me smile at least once a day and makes the adoption feel just a bit more real.

Continuing to pray for God's perfect timing. Continuing to hope that His perfect timing is SOON!

You all rock!

2011-02-21T16:15:00.001-05:00

Have I told you that before? Because you do. I'm going just a little crazy at this point, though I have complete faith in God's timing and I know I will be glad for this wait eventually. But I would be a WHOLE LOT CRAZIER without all of you!

H - you know this, I tell you often, I don't know what I'd do at all, adoption process or not, without you! Thank you for not getting frustrated by my current lack of focus on anything except the referral call, timing, traveling, etc!

Kelly Y - Again, I am just so thankful that this adoption journey has brought us together and made us friends! What an unexpected blessing!

My friends that are my "support group" on facebook - I love you girls and that has definitely helped me sanity! I look forward to the day when we can get our kids together to play!

Sandra and Grace - thank you! Thanks for getting together and being such an amazing source of support. Sandra, I can't tell you how much you have put my mind at ease or helped me keep my sanity many times.

My friends here who have left amazing, uplifting, and helpful comments - I can't thank all of you enough! You all have been such an amazing sense of support and I can't thank you enough!

My other IRL friends - thank you for supporting me and putting up with my insanity and lack of focus right now. Praying I can get a bit of that back soon.

My family - I can't ever thank them enough. I don't really have words for my amazing family and I love all of you (immediate and our HUGE extended family that is just fantastic!). Can't wait for M and T (<--can't wait to meet them!!!), G, K and D to all have a new little one to play with. Thanks for your amazing support.

Too much Thinking!

2011-02-19T08:06:00.000-05:00

I remember when we started out on this process. I'd read blogs about people who were close to referral and they'd talk about dreading the weekend, and the roller coaster. Roller coaster ride: waking up in the morning, being excited that it could be today, at the same time thinking that it's not likely to be today, but still there's a bit of adrenaline and excitement. But each day I reach about 11:30 and give it up for the day. There's a bit of disappointment that it won't be that day. Sometimes it's more than just a bit of disappointment... By evening you start looking forward to the next day. Friday evenings you're a bit sad - you don't want to have to wait all weekend in order to have that possibility of good news. At the same time you're a bit exhausted from the anticipation and welcome the break. BUT a long weekend (when your husband has class all weekend and isn't around which is usually the wonderful part about weekends) is a special kind of torture. When I read these blogs, I sort of understood but sort of thought the people were a bit crazy. Well....now I'm crazy!!!

I am currently lacking much motivation and struggling to stay focused on other things. I want to see a picture of my baby. I want to know who (s)he is. I want to stop writing he or she (even though I know it's likely he I still do this b/c only God knows for sure). I want to start preparing in the fun ways - not just cleaning. I want to have an IDEA of when we'll travel and not worry about it. I want to know how the referral process will play out and not be stress about whether Brian will be around when we get our referral or how quickly he'll be able to get in so we can see our child. How quickly can I arrange care for the kids? I want to drop everything and go now!

OK - these are my desires. These are the desires of my heart and I pray about them. But I also know that there is a baby who does not desire to be with me. A baby who is being well taken care of and who isn't quite ready to be home with us. There is one baby meant for our family and I can't rush that and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I have to trust in God's perfect timing. I KNOW that God's timing is better than mine. That as I look back at my life I can see where God was in control and that His timing and His way of doing things has been amazing! It has brought us here. There is not one single area that I can say "Oh, I really wish it had been....". There are hard times but God brought good out of it and His glory shines because of it. So I trust in this timing and that He will send the child He wants in our family to us in His perfect timing.

Thanks for listening to my rambling and unloading. I am so thankful for all of you who take the time to read this and who have been such a source of support!!! Thank you!

Now a celebration!!! Jenny is going to get her little boy next week!!! He'll finally be home with his family forever and will know what it's like to have a Mommy and a Daddy. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am about this!!! It is time!!! Congrats Jenny!

What did I do this weekend?!?

2011-02-14T13:47:00.000-05:00

I bought my first item for the baby!!! No referral yet but we're hoping soon. I'd originally said I wasn't buying anything until referral but I started thinking a bit more practically...only 2-3 months between referral and travel with LOTS to do. There are certain large-ish items that I wanted to look for on Craigslist so I needed to start browsing and jump when the opportunity arises. So....we bought a highchair! Nothing too exciting. It's fairly kid-looking, regular high chair but it met my criteria:
1. A wipe-off seat. I had both a wipe-off and a machine wash and I wanted to machine wash it every day! Not very practical for us. Probably part of my problem is that it was a replacement seat and I never thought it fit quite right either, but I just didn't like it. I'm happy to go back to the wipe clean variety.

2. A tray insert that pops off the tray and can go in the dishwasher. Big bulky trays don't fit well in the sink so I'm VERY excited about this feature! I've only used this at a friend's house and now we'll have that luxury of putting the insert into the dishwasher (or even having the insert fit well into the sink!).

Grrr! The picture I had didn't save to my desktop only snapfish. I'll have to take another and post it later. It's the Fisher-Price Rainforest one but the funny picture is one of B and E playing with the toy that is attached! Don't know if it's entertaining to a 1 year old but my 4 and 7 year old can't keep their hands off it right now. ;)

7 months...

2011-02-08T14:22:00.000-05:00

It's been 7 months since HSTK! There was definitely a time when I didn't think we'd wait this long at all. There was also a time when I would have been THRILLED to even be considering a referral around now. So I'm sticking with thrilled. So happy that there's a good chance it could be SOON! It may be another month, month and a half and I'm totally OK with that. It could be a lot longer, but it doesn't seem like it from the way SWS is moving (hoping not). So thankful that it could be coming up. Resting in God's perfect timing!

The hard part for me right now is trying not to think about it. I'm no longer anxious, but I still think about it every time my phone rings (but please don't stop calling me!). I still think about it when I wake up in the morning - today could be the day we learn about our child. It's on my mind all the time. It's hard to change that. It can also make time drag to think about it all the time (a watched pot and all that). So trying to concentrate on other things.

Fortunately today I had an AWESOME distraction! I got to watch my friend's girls (and E got a playdate) while she went to be fingerprinted (again - darn USCIS - prayers that this time everything is good)! Then we spent a lot of the day together! I am so thankful for this friendship that only came about due to adoption! Wow! And the fact that our girls have become such good friends - here's hoping our youngest children (likely boys) will be too! ;) Thank you K for such a wonderful day!

Got Love?

2011-02-07T07:43:00.001-05:00

Check out Kelly's blog - the Minus 1 Project - and see the fun new t-shirts and awesome travel mugs that her family is selling to fund their adoption. Kelly is such an amazing person and she knows I've been wanting to purchase many of the things on her blog (struggling with cute things - also check out the tutus - and my lack of desire to spend money. Quite a struggle!).

새해 복 많이 받으세요! - Happy Lunar New Year!

2011-02-03T21:46:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking of our child today. I don't know who our child is yet, but God does. And I'm guessing that our child is celebrating the Lunar New Year with his/her Foster Family. I wonder if they're traveling to see relatives? Is our child wearing a hanbok? How about our child's birth parents? Are they able to enjoy the celebrations this year? Are they thinking about our child? I pray that they feel a sense of peace. I pray for them frequently.

I'm bringing B and E to a Lunar New Year celebration near here and meeting up with Grace, Sandra, and Kala this weekend (which means I get to see Carson, "Little" Ben (as E calls him), and Matthew!!!). My friend, G is bringing her kids so hopefully I'll get to see her and I think Becky may be checking in with us too! I am so blessed by the friends I have made through this process. Having this to look forward to this weekend has really helped me through a week when I knew there wouldn't be any news. Korea practically shuts down for 3 days during the Lunar New Year.

Fortunately, I'm also at peace with waiting. I was feeling a bit anxious, but now I really feel like it's OK if it's another month or so. It will all happen in God's perfect timing. I'm at a point where I'm excited but I can wait until then. ;) Enjoy the entrance into the Year of the Rabbit!

Doing, not waiting

2011-01-29T10:14:00.000-05:00

I've finally gotten myself out of the waiting funk that I was in. I was spending energy waiting! How crazy is that? Now I'm trying to spend it on much more productive things and it actually makes the wait much more bearable!

So what did I do?
~Our bedroom and bedroom closet are the most organized they've been since we moved in. It's been on my to do list since October. Hurray! ;)

~The baby's room is all cleared out! We have a guest/storage room downstairs. Our parents don't mind that we store things in the guest room (I have some curtains and blankets covering up most of the storage, but it's not a beautiful room, but it's private so they don't mind). When Gift, Jackie, and Hellen were coming from Uganda I wanted to make it feel more like a nice room and less like storage with a bed, so we moved most of the storage into the baby's room. FINALLY I have cleared it out - which only entailed moving a few boxes back to storage and the rest we got rid of or is actually baby stuff that is staying in the baby's room! ;) I vacuumed in there and put some of the baby things away. The nursery isn't decorated or all done - that will wait for a referral but it will be much less overwhelming now! ;)

~I STARTED going through baby clothes - getting rid of 0-6 month completely, getting rid of all but the absolute cutest 9 month, and culling out all sizes down to what I'd actually want to re-use (I mean, come one - who doesn't want to do a little shopping?!?). We're making progress and soon B and E will be able to use their closet for it's intended purpose, not storing baby clothes! ;)

~ This is something I've wanted to do for a while, but I'm BAD at it. I want to memorize scripture. Last week, my friend, J (our boys are in Taekwondo together), told me she was memorizing 2 scriptures per month. That's not too daunting. Even 1 per month is more than I'm doing. But I didn't do anything to change that right away - I did keep thinking about it though (thank you J for challenging me!). Yesterday I read Brandi's blog and finally did something. I copied down 4 of the verses that really struck me onto index cards and I'm going to memorize them. I have 1 memorized already! ;) Thank you Brandi for that extra push!!!

So I'm focusing much less on waiting and more on doing things. Our snow days have been productive! Wow! We've built forts, done some baking, played lots of board games (Ben learned to play Risk!), played in the snow, built a snowman (that I'm trying to upload pictures of but failing), cleaned out some closets, and memorized at least 1 scripture. We've song songs and read books! I'm feeling good. On top of that we all had some downtime and we're ALL excited to get out of the house today!!! YAY!!! :)

Thanks for the ideas! Great day!

2011-01-27T13:31:00.001-05:00

Today has been a good day. I woke up in a better mood, not anxious, just ready for a fun day with the kids.
First of all - to everyone who recommended fort making - thank you! That's something my kids love and I hadn't thought of it. So for your viewing pleasure:
You actually can't see all of it in the picture - there's more on each side and this is what my living room is going to look like for the rest of the day. But I have 2 happy kids! ;)

We also made blueberry muffins from scratch this morning for breakfast. Lots of fun. Of course, I ate them, but it was fun. I have not been very successful with healthy eating this week, oh well.

After the fort was built we went outside to shovel/play. Ended up seeing friends from the neighborhood and B is now on over there playing and E is napping! Getting out in the fresh air was good for all of us!

I'm thankful that I feel much less anxious. I know I mentioned this before but I'm not waiting for the phone to ring (though I still wonder for a second when I answer it and get very unhappy when it's telemarketers on the other end!!!). I've prayed and feel like God has given me a sense of peace. I know it will happen in His perfect timing! Thanks for bearing with me.

Zingo!, Mancala, and Trouble, Oh my!

2011-01-26T16:08:00.000-05:00

We are snowed in. Oh wow - it JUST started to snow for real. We had a snow day today (who knows why - it was slush) and we are almost guaranteed one tomorrow. We have played several games of Zingo! and Mancala as well as a game of Trouble. I have vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen and all the bathrooms and I'm working on the closets upstairs (a bit of nesting...come on referral!). The kids have been spies with their walkie-talkies and B's cool Spy Gear (spying on me while I was cleaning upstairs - very stealthy!), played Wii, and basically exhausted my creativity at this point.

HELP! I need ideas for tomorrow to keep 2 kids and 1 Mommy busy and happy tomorrow. Today it was raining all day during our "snow" day so going outside was not a possibility. Hoping for real snow tomorrow (if we're going to have the day off) so that we can play in it and get outside for a bit!

Stay warm!

We did it, we did it, we did it, Hurray! :)

2011-01-22T20:00:00.000-05:00

OK, other than the shout out to Dora, we told our kids that we're adopting! I'm so happy that they know!

I really think it's good that B knows ahead of time. He's my child that needs processing time on things. He does better when he has time to wrap his head around things and I think now when we show him our new child's picture he'll be excited rather than processing then. He can do that now. Initially he had a lot of questions (good ones that we were happy to answer). Then we let him be for a bit (I guess Brian talked to him about it while I took E to a birthday party but then it was dropped for a bit). This evening he brought it up on his own asking about naming our child. He had a couple of suggestions (Fritz is one - we're reading Swiss Family Robinson right now - lol). It was fun to see him starting to get excited. Also, B is REALLY hoping it's a boy. We told him that we'll be happy either way with the child that God chooses to make a part of our family. He agreed readily and said he'd be happy either way. We did not tell him our child is likely to be a boy because on the very remote chance that we have a referral for a girl we don't want him to feel disappointed.

E is currently designing the nursery in her head, coming up with every single way she can help and be the second Mommy to our child. She is fully excited. No hesitations. Only a couple of questions. Overall just thrilled. She did state that she'd like a sister (she has a brother and thinks it would be fun to have both) but seems pretty ready to accept another brother too (afterall she LOVES the brother she has). Thankful for this since our child is likely to be a boy. ;)

That's the excitement here. I loved the idea of Big Brother/Big Sister shirts and wanted to do this, but I haven't ordered any yet and I didn't want to wait another week to tell them. I think I need to get on that so that when we actually have a referral and are ready to show the kids, we can give them their big sister/big brother shirts. Although I don't want them to wear the shirts too much b/c I want them clean and in good condition to wear to the airport! :) I think it actually worked out well to make this part a discussion and they'll be ready for a more creative celebration type of announcement when there's an actual picture of a child. Thanks for all of your support!!!

To tell or not to tell....

2011-01-21T14:28:00.000-05:00

that's the question for a few things right now. But one is whether or not to tell our kids. We're leaning more in the "let's do it" direction so I was wondering - any fun ideas of how to tell a 4 and 7 year old that they're getting a little sibling?!? The adoption part is definitely going to be an ongoing conversation but hoping for a fun way to initially tell them. :)

I've ordered our first children's book on adoption and I'm sure there will be many more to follow (there are several in my cart on amazon right now). ;)

The other to tell or not to tell is about our referral (NO we don't have one). I'm hesitant to tell too many people that we have one before seeing the info. I'm trying to decide who to tell until we've definitely decided to accept. I can't for the life of me imagine turning down a referral (my husband said the other day that this would kill me - he's only off by a bit) but I know that theoretically there could be circumstances that would cause that to happen and I would need support, not judgment. I know that only my husband and I can make that decision, just posting thoughts here.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!! :) TGIF!

Wooo-Hooo (and link to a give away)

2011-01-18T19:52:00.000-05:00

I just have to share this quick shout of joy! Hurray!!! 3 friends got TC's today! Count them - not 1, not 2...3!!! More good news that I heard too! I'm just celebrating and thanking God! He is awesome! He has a plan and will see it through!!!

Also, check out this new blog. There's a very funny story and a giveaway. Enjoy!

Our exciting weekend

2011-01-18T11:51:00.000-05:00

To kick off our exciting weekend, my baby is becoming a big girl. She moved into a "Big Girl Car Seat". I was torn. She was ready for it more than I was. Isn't that usually the case? Well, all weekend the 4 of us have been enjoying the excitement of having 2 kids that can get in and out of their car seats by themselves! :) E exclaims over it every time and I'm happy to give her accolades.

It's very strange to me that we have reached this place of independence between kids this time. When E was born it was 2 days after B turned 3. He was bigger, but still relied on Mommy for a LOT (probably more than E did at the same age, honestly). When we bring Little One home eventually we will have 2 kids that can get in and out of carseats by themselves, we're essentially done with diapers (so going back into them will be a shock), we have kids who entertain themselves for short periods of time, who can go to a restaurant and usually behave well - it's going to be different to have our 3rd monkey home. But we can't wait. There are so many things I love about those younger years that I'm looking forward to. I'm just trying to remind myself not to rush it and to enjoy these "easy" days. :)

Also we got to go to the mall this weekend and gift cards/Christmas money came with us. B got a greatly coveted remote control helicopter that he's slowly getting better at flying. Very cool and grown up! E had a gift card to Build A Bear which she was very happy to do. I knew she would LOVE this opportunity! She did not disappoint. She was thoroughly excited and had a great time. Our new bear is named Sherbet Bear (pronounced the crazy American way - Sherbert - don't know why we add the extra r?). It's an adorable pink and orange bear so the name (inspired by B) was quite appropriate. We also got there for their clearance sale so Sherbet Bear has an adorable striped sweater. OK, Mommy loved doing this with her a LOT! :)

An Update

2011-01-15T15:52:00.000-05:00

There's not a lot of news here but I did call our agency this week. Bascially she said that we'll have a referral within the next 6 months. She said that referrals have been coming in. It *could* be sooner, but she doesn't really want to get our hopes up. No real news - but she's willing to give us some hope. That went a long way to bringing me some peace and for some reason hearing that gave me the ability to spend less time obsessing and more time enjoying life here - exactly what I needed!

The good news I got is that we don't have to update our home study yet. Home studies in VA are good for 3 years as long as the agency you are working with is based (or somewhat based) in VA (ours is in MD w/satellite offices in VA). However, USCIS requires an update when your I-171H needs to be renewed (18 months). So since that isn't until January, we're hoping we have a child home before that's necessary (so we may have to update before finalization, not sure how that works).

Just thought I'd share the quick update. Hope you're all enjoying this long weekend! More on car seats and Build A Bear soon!

Thankful for YOU!

2011-01-12T13:09:00.000-05:00

My emotions have been running a bit high since Christmas and today I'm waiting to hear back from our agency with a couple of questions and hoping for an update so I'm a bit more on edge. I'm taking this time to tell you all how THANKFUL I am for the support I've received.

Yesterday I was able to see Grace and Sandra and their amazing boys. That was a blessing. Unfortunately Ella did not show her sweet self to them, hopefully next time. She's having a difficult couple of days. Hoping that ends soon! Let me tell you, it was hard to handle all the cuteness in that room Carson and Ben are just adorable and Piper wanted to be in the middle of the action. It was terrific to see! :) And I am so thankful to be building friendships with these two amazing women!

I've gotten emails, talked to some of you on facebook, and messages on my blog that have just warmed my heart! Michelle left a great one with encouragement and saying that I can lean on all of you which was a great reminder of how wonderful you all are!

Elisabeth, Sandra, Jane, Debra, Janelle, Brandi, Heather, Kelly, and Kelly, Dena, Amy, Susan, Holly - I don't know what I'd do without you guys, what an amazing support you've been!

Kelly Y - you rock! Thanks for calling! I can't begin to say how thankful I am for your friendship.

And of course, my friends and family IRL - especially H who listens to me daily! Thanks!

There are so many more that I haven't mentioned (the Elizabeths - sorry you two get stuck together, Kala, etc., etc.) - I feel bad but this post would go on forever if I named each of you individually! You all rock!

Magic (Edited with accurate lyrics)

2011-01-10T15:27:00.000-05:00

***Thank you Ana and Heather for remembering the lyrics and filling me in! I knew I could count on you 2 but didn't expect I would hear from you while you're traveling! Thanks! Miss you and thinking of you a lot! Can't wait to see pictures of the trip when Heather gets home!

I was singing to my kids today in the car (Ella really likes for me to sing to her and when her constant barrage of questions gets to be a bit much in the car I offer to sing her a song) and after a couple of songs that are familiar I sang a couple fun ones from the camp I used to work at that I remember much of (but need help remembering the rest of the lyrics). This one really struck me:

Magic:

When I was young I thought the stars were made for wishing on
And every hole deep in the tree must hide a leprechaun.
Old houses all had secret rooms if one could find the key
I do believe in magic I believe

Chorus:
Magic is the sun that makes a rainbow out of rain
And magic keeps the dream alive to try and try again.
Magic is the love that stays when good friends have to leave.
I do believe in the magic, I believe.

Growing up the grown-ups said one day I'd wake to find
Magic's just a childhood dream I'd have to leave behind.
Like clothes that would no longer fit and toys that I'd ignore,
I'd not believe in magic anymore.

Chorus

When I grew up I woke to find that much to my surprise
Magic did not fade away, it took a new disguise.
A child, a friend, a smile, a song
The courage to stand tall,
I do believe in magic after all.

Chorus then:
I do believe in magic
For love's the greatest magic
I do believe in magic, I believe.

OK, many parts of this strike me. Especially as I watch my kids grow. But the part that hit me today is the part bolded and italicized above. We're not trying again and again, but each day I have to renew my faith in waiting and that this will all be done in God's perfect timing. I also thought of my friend, J, who shared their journey to domestic adoption on her blog. They did have to try and try again which I can only begin to imagine. I think God puts this "magic" inside of us and gives us this supernatural strength to make it through the unknown and difficult parts of life in general, and specifically adoption. We're on a little bit of a bumpy path right now. I know that God is in control and when I start to get discouraged or frustrated, I pray for more of this "magic" in my life. And God always provides!

6 Months Today

2011-01-08T11:57:00.000-05:00

Our ticker turned over. We've been waiting 6 months for a referral. It's been a wonderful, long, agonizing, quick 6 months. Yes, lots of contradictions. My emotions are all over. We also got good/bad news yesterday that plays into this. Nothing definitely but some likely scenarios that don't make waiting easier! Grrr!

I've also been wondering something, maybe some of you can help me. I looked at our agencies info and it says that Home Studies are good for 1 year. Is that 1 year from agency approval? Or 1 year from USCIS approval? Big difference in when we need to get things done. Also, I was trying to remember when fingerprints expire. Is that 1 year, 18 months, 15 months - I remember there were a few different USCIS expiration dates. I should look it up.

Sorry, I'm surprised at how hard this 6 month mark is hitting me. I want to be expecting a referral soon, but I know I shouldn't. I'm watching time lines and currently it looks like 8ish months, but will it be longer by the time it gets to us? Who knows. I shouldn't speculate. It's hard not to.

If you listened this long, you deserve a cookie! Thanks for letting me whine. I think my kids may be rubbing off on me. There's been a fair amount of whining since returning from Christmas. ;)

Resolutions

2011-01-08T09:30:00.000-05:00

OK, I generally don't believe in making resolutions but I'm going to work on a few things this year. I'm blogging so that they're out there and maybe I'll have some accountability.

1. Keep in better touch with friends that I love but don't live near me. I have a few friends (S, S, E, L just to name a few) that I love dearly, we keep in touch on facebook but I don't call them nearly enough. I want to change that.

2. Really trust in God's perfect timing and plan. This got a major test yesterday. It's not something I'm willing to write about now but I'm struggling a bit. I know that God is in control and He is awesome. I know that He has a plan even if it doesn't match mine - and that His is better! I just have to stop stressing about it.

OK, just the two for now - they're good ones, they're (mostly) attainable. I'm going to work on it.

I did go back to Weight W@tchers yesterday. I tried to go to meetings when we first moved here but never found a time I could consistently attend. Without the consistency I lose the advantage of the meetings. Now I'm going during preschool on Friday mornings! It'll work for a few months anyway. Hopefully only a few.... ;) The new program is different and I'm withholding judgment until I've given it a good try for a couple of weeks. The up side - most fruits are 0 points!!! :)

Telling older siblings that you're adopting...?

2011-01-04T12:26:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! I hope you all had a blessed holiday season! We are so excited to enter 2011 - the year we find out about and meet our baby (hopefully!!!). I also have to say that yesterday was a FANTASTIC day with lots of wonderful news and I'm so thankful and I praise God for all of that happy news! Sorry I can't share it - not mine to share! ;)

I've been thinking a lot about telling older kids that you're adopting. For those that don't know this, we haven't told B and E yet that we're adopting. We've taken many wonderful opportunities to talk about adoption in general with them. We've also discussed adding a sibling "one day" but we haven't gotten specific yet because adoption is a bumpy road and our children's concept of time is a bit lacking (especially E). The kids LOVE the idea of a younger sibling. B is starting to understand adoption a bit, and E is just starting to as well (her Cabbage Patch doll was a great instrument in discussing adoption with both of them).

B told me (in October) that the best birthday gift would be to have another sibling. Brian and I were planning on telling the kids for their birthdays (in December) that we were adopting. Our initial timeline was 4-6 months and even when it moved to 4-8 that didn't seem so bad (we were at the 5 month mark for their birthdays). In November we were told to expect 12 months (I'm still thinking that our agency is a bit pessimistic and giving very conservative time lines but I digress). That was enough for us to decide to wait on telling them. We realized that this was a blow to us and that we needed to wait for a bit. It's driving me crazy not telling them though. I told Brian that what I want for my birthday is to tell the kids. My birthday is in March and we'll be at about the 8 1/2 month mark since HSTK. I know that we have to evaluate if this is best for our family when it gets closer but we're thinking about it. We're really hoping we'll have a referral by then and won't have to make this decision.

So my question to those of you with older kids, whether through birth or adoption, is this: How did you go about telling your older child(ren) that you're adopting? When did you do it? How did they deal with the wait?

Don't forget to check out the giveaways that I posted about in yesterday's post. Also check out the wonderful post Tracy wrote today about the support they're receiving - makes me excited to see everyone rally around them! Continued prayers to bring Emi Faith Home!!

Bring Emi Faith Home

2011-01-03T14:48:00.000-05:00

Many of you have probably read that Tracy is almost ready to bring Emi home! Hurray! But there is one last barrier. I would write it but I think others have explained it well so I'm copying part of Kala's post (sorry, Kala - thanks!).

Emi is three years old and has special needs that she will need therapy for. To me adopting a three year old who has special needs is pretty brave. By brave I mean bringing home a three year old who has lived her whole life in Korea would have to be a BIG adjustment. And when Tracy wanted to start the adoption process on Emi she was told to reconsider. Wow they would really say that? I would have been scared but Tracy and her family knew that this was their little girl and that God would be with through this whole process. They took a leap of faith not knowing how they were going to do this.

Now after many hiccups and bumps in the road the time has finally come to start packing for her trip. They have decided that it is best for her husband to stay and take care of their four kids due to circumstances. That means that not only does Tracy needs to find funds for her ticket but must also pay for a ticket for Emi and because of Emi's special needs and age the agency said that someone needs to accompany her. She has found someone to travel with her and to be her moral support but can't afford the airfare. The price of a ticket is around $1200.

Kala wrote an amazing post about giving and I'd encourage you to read it. Very inspiring! Help bring Emi Faith home!

My friend Elizabeth is having a raffle to help raise funds. Check it out! Definitely some great things being raffled off.
Daily Dose of Mama is also doing a raffle to raise funds. Please check these out!

Thanks!

Thanks!

The best Christmas Gift

2010-12-28T21:50:00.001-05:00

We've had a wonderful time celebrating with both sides of the family. It's always terrific to see family. I guess since we don't live near either side we don't take it for granted at all.

I wanted to share that the most amazing gift this year was how supportive our families are. I was getting to a point where I sometimes felt like people forgot that we were going through this (I know that's not true but there have been times where people have been a bit insensitive and I guarantee you that I'm oversensitive) and we had family members asking questions and our parents being so amazingly supportive, talking about the baby (as well as a generous gift from my in-laws) in a way that made this all start to seem real and not SO far away again. I'm thankful for that.

I am reminded that I should treasure the next few months of waiting. Our lives will change drastically in 6-9 months so I should appreciate this time with my two kids who are, honestly, getting easier. The only diaper I touch in a day is putting one on my daughter before she goes to bed, which she removes and throws away in the morning. They dress themselves, they entertain themselves (or each other) for at least short periods of time. B can entertain himself for long periods of time (when he wants to). They get along (fairly) well (for a 4 and 7 year old). I can do some cleaning or cooking while they're awake. I can work on the budget sometimes while they're awake. We can play games, go to the park, take trips, enjoy family outings together and it's a LOT LESS working than it used to be. For the first time ever we went on a road trip and we only brought regular water bottles in the car - no sippy cups. These things seem small but slowly my kids are getting to be so much easier and they're becoming so much fun. It's a blessing. I think I'm in for some shock when youngest comes home (we call him/her "youngest" most of the time to be discreet and because we don't know what else to say). It's a wonderful, welcome shock that I am anticipating greatly and waiting very impatiently for. I can't wait to have our youngest child home in our arms. To see our family complete (unless God has other plans). But I'm trying to enjoy my older kids while it's just the two of them. Trying to enjoy God's blessings to our family in the moment and not live my life always looking forward.

Sorry this is long and rambling but that's where my head is right now. Happy Holidays!

Salvation Army Bell Ringers

2010-12-23T06:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we were at W@lm@rt and we gave the kids a little bit of money to put in the Salvation Army bucket. There was a very kind man ringing the bell who asked my children their favorite song.

E immediately responded "I love Jesus" (which is completely a made up song that she created, but she's sure the whole world knows it).

The ringer was a bit confused but then suggested Jingle Bells (which we were whispering to the kids from the side) and he let them hold the bell, ring it, and sang "Jingle Bells" with them! So cute! Afterwards I took a picture of the 3 of them (which is currently on my camera - things probably won't get uploaded until after Christmas).

Happy Holidays!

Enough Grumbling - Merry Christmas!!!

2010-12-20T16:35:00.000-05:00

E's last day of preshool was today and B is done tomorrow. It's almost Christmas VACATION! :) Hurray! I have to say I'm about as excited as the kids. It's taken me longer to get excited, but I'm there.

I can't wait to see family. It's always so much fun to see everyone and it's so festive.

I can't wait to sleep in once or twice. We don't do that much while traveling, but usually each of us gives the other a morning to sleep in! :)

I can't wait to celebrate - it's so much fun to see the joy that everyone has while celebrating Christmas. Especially children. I'm so excited.

But most important -
I can't wait to sing Happy Birthday Jesus with my children. To remind them of the greatest gift of all and to remember why we celebrate. Thank you God for this amazing gift!

My defensiveness and why we chose International Adoption

2010-12-20T14:36:00.000-05:00

WARNING: Long and rambling post ahead!

Thank you to Pixie over at Cheese Curds and Kimchi for sharing a funny and insightful story over here about a couple doing an "adoption maternity photo shoot".

I wanted to share one thing on here that the article made me think of. Here is the paragraph in the article:

"I don’t know a single biological parent who’s had the very choice to give birth to their children questioned so constantly, and throughout her child’s life; you just don’t see pregnant ladies having to face an inquisition squad in line at the grocery checkout, full of people wondering why they didn’t choose to adopt? Couldn’t have they investigated foster care? Don’t they realize that there are already so many children already out there who need homes?"

The reason I bring this up is that I was asked recently why we decided to adopt and why South Korea. These are not unusual questions and most people (including this person) are very interested in hear and encouraging. But I wanted to post a bit about my response. I immediately tensed up. I tried not to show it to these caring people (that I do know well enough that they should feel comfortable asking) but my initial reaction has become a bit of defensiveness because I've had these questions and responses before:

- I thought only rich/famous people adopted internationally (REALLY?!? nope, that's not us!)
-Don't you know there are a lot of kids here who need homes?
- Why aren't you going through foster care?
- My husband and I had one person go on and on for at least 15 minutes telling us that we should have gone through foster care and giving us the how's and the why's (hello - you've never adopted and I barely know you, leave me alone!) of it because she knows one person who successfully did this (one person - yes, that means it's a fact that it would be easy for us).

I think foster care adoption is wonderful. We briefly explored it. The goal of foster care is to bring families back together, not adoption. Adoption is the point once parental rights have been terminated. This doesn't happen quickly and easily usually (I'm sure it can but I don't believe that's the majority of cases). A majority of kids currently available for adoption through foster care (parental rights already terminated) are 6 and older. Not all, but a lot who already have the parental rights terminated are definitely older than 3 and we think it is important for our kids to keep birth order, at least at this point in time). Also, I'm not currently comfortable having a child come into our house, have my children fall in love with this child, and then have that child go to another home where we aren't allowed contact anymore. I can hardly imagine how I would deal with this emotionally and I don't think it's the best choice for our family right now.

Domestic adoption - another wonderful way to adopt, but this is not cheaper nor easier than international and it completely depends on a birth Mom choosing you and the timeline is completely unknown. Plus there are times that the birth mom decides to parent. This is WONDERFUL but emotionally I would struggle with that.

So we landed with South Korea. I said in a much earlier post why we specifically chose South Korea. I'll find that and link to it rather than repost. But one reason (out of many) is time since we are a military family and we can only be sure to be here for 2 years. We wanted to have our child with us before we had to move. It's also a country that we have respect for and could share the culture with our children and over time I've grown to love Korea and I can't wait to visit!!!

If you've stuck with me this far, don't worry I'm almost done. Thanks so much for listening! Hope we're still friends!
Anyway, this is more a chance to get things off my chest. Sorry for griping. I am happy to educate about adoption, I do get frustrated when people judge me without really understanding.

Last Chance for Minus 1 Giveaway

2010-12-17T08:20:00.001-05:00

The Minus 1 Project is doing a great giveaway to raise money for their adoption. Check it out. Happy Friday! We're enjoying our 2 hour delay (though Ella is sad that preschool is canceled because her party was supposed to be today). :) Hope you all have a great weekend!

I get to share now!

2010-12-16T23:31:00.001-05:00

My friend, Jenny, and her husband successfully adopted a baby girl (domestic)! What a Christmas miracle! Check out her blog. It's been a twisty road for them with a few speed bumps but I am so happy to hear the good news. Can't wait to meet her baby girl!

How Cool is This Week?!? (Updated)

2010-12-15T20:13:00.000-05:00

Grace is in Korea and met her son today at LONG last!
Min is on her way to Korea at LONG last!
and now...
Sonia is headed to China to get those two precious boys!

Praise God! So excited for these boys to all come home!!!

Update:
Sitting here in tears because I just heard more AMAZING news but I can't share it until she does! Thank you God!!! What an amazing week!

Playdate

2010-12-14T17:18:00.001-05:00

We had the amazing privilege of getting together with Sandra and Ben from Three Continents - One Family today. It was a wonderful time. We walked around the mall, the kids got wet in the fountain (the mall has a very open fountain that kids can't resist sticking their hands in, not necessarily the best set up - but Ben and E loved it!) and had lunch. It was wonderful to sit and talk with Sandra. She has been through this process before and has a good deal of insight to share. Plus she just understands my low-level insanity (that will turn into intense insanity once we have a referral, I'm sure).

During lunch Ben started to smile and "talk" quite a bit and after lunch we really saw his personality emerge. He is such a fun boy! E had a great time running around with him. Can't wait to do it again!

The sad part of our day was that we missed seeing Kelly and her girls today. E and Karis have become good friends and Kelly and I have become good friends (and my sanity at times) so we look forward to seeing them soon!

Thanks Sandra and Ben for a great time!

Christmas Happenings

2010-12-13T22:33:00.001-05:00

OK, the blog picture is better, though not great. I may change it, but I really liked that photo.

Anyway, we've been busy bees here. After G, J, and H left to go back to Uganda :( I had a day of not really knowing what to do with myself. Then I found out that my best friend, her husband and her 4 kids were coming to visit. Hurray! We didn't think we'd get to see them until summer so this was a huge blessing.

They were here to celebrate birthdays:

My children wanted a Christmas theme for their birthday party. So we have red and green per B's request and the snowman ice cream cake per E's request. My cake decorating abilities are not one of my top skills but it's made with love.

Our friends stayed and celebrated Christmas with us before they had to go. It was wonderful to actually be together to celebrate this year. We miss living near them. :(

We've done a lot of Christmas shopping, starting to wrap, decorating the house, baking cookies and this weekend we put up our tree. Thursday night E had her pre-school pageant. It was adorable! Friday B had Gingerbread House Day at school so I went in to help him make and decorate his Gingerbread house. It's apparently a German tradition and they did it the week of St. Nicholas Day and it was a lot of fun. I don't often get to spend time one on one with my oldest so that was such a blessing.

We had 2 birthday parties this weekend among other things and I have to say that I am thoroughly excited about this upcoming weekend when it's a bit more relaxing. Tomorrow I really need to get some packages put together and mailed out! But that will wait until after our fun playdate.... :) More on that tomorrow!

Technical Difficulties

2010-12-13T22:21:00.000-05:00

Trying to make my blog a bit festive. I can not for the life of me remember how to make pictures fit better. Hopefully the huge picture will not be there much longer. If anyone can talk me through it, it would be greatly appreciated! ;)

Christmas Music and Perspective

2010-12-11T15:34:00.000-05:00

I was listening to "Hey Santa" on the radio with tears streaming down my face today. There are several songs, including some Christmas songs, that really bring me back to the years that Brian was deployed (we're not discussing the fact that it's a very real possibility in our future as well). As I was listening and crying it reminded me of how hard it was celebrating Christmas without him. The first time he was deployed my MIL left the Christmas tree up until he got home and we could celebrate together - he got home in April.

I started thinking about all of this waiting (because it would be great if Santa wanted to bring my a picture of my baby for Christmas) and reminded me that I may be waiting for a child, but that child isn't waiting for me. That there are children all over this country, right in this city who are waiting for their parents to come home and who will have to celebrate without their parent(s) this year. I'll gladly take this waiting over waiting for my husband to come home from war (again). God granted me a bit of perspective. My husband and our 2 kids are here and healthy and safe. Our third child will join our family in time, but I can wait on God's timing and be thankful this year.

Please send up a prayer for our soldiers overseas and their families missing them here at home.

5 months

2010-12-08T10:05:00.001-05:00

We've reached 5 months since HSTK. I still want to think we're close, but I haven't been given any reason to think that. Praying we get a referral in God's perfect timing, but if there's any way His perfect timing could be EARLY 2011 (or even 2010 but I don't dare dream that big), that'd be great! :)

If any of you read last night's post - Ben only threw up the one time last night! Hurray - healthy boy. He's home though so we're having a Christmas movie marathon day. It's been insane around here for a couple of months and all 3 of us could use a day off. Have a good one!

PS. Still letting you know you should check out Kelly's Great Gift Raffle at the Minus 1 Project.

Update

2010-12-07T23:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I was just about to get into bed and E comes running into my room to tell me that B threw up (on the top bunk, lovely). I really hate cleaning up puke. :( Here's praying that it's a quick bug. (We have fun plans on Thursday and I don't want to cancel them) I really want my child to be healthy again. I feel so bad for him (anyone know how to strike through on the blog?). He asked if he could go to school tomorrow if he felt better, I said no (of course) but it was cute that he actually wanted to go to school!

Anyway, I'm waiting for laundry to finish so I can put it into the dryer so I'm writing a quick update on our lives.

Last week we got our Army 10 miler info in the mail. I was pretty happy to see my time. I actually finished in the top half of all runners, as well as the top half of females in my age group. For me, this is very exciting. I also shaved over 8 minutes off of my time from last year. I went from just under 11 minute miles to almost exactly 10 minute miles (yes, I'm slow, but I kept running and I've improved over a year). I was very happy!

The kids' birthday party on Saturday went well. I'm crazy and had a dual birthday part for my kids - basically a 7 year old boy party on one level while a 4 year old girl party took place on the other level. My husband had class - so it was just me. My best friend came with her kids, but couldn't get there until an hour into the part. Fortunately I've become friends with one of Ben's friend's Mom (did I do those contractions correctly?) and she really helped with the boys portion. The good news - the kids were ALL well behaved and my 2 had a blast!

I had a bit of a breakdown Sunday night. I feel like an idiot afterwards but I appreciate the honesty of other AP's who are honest on their blogs and share their tough times. I'm not really there yet, this is supposed to be the easy wait but having the referral pushed so far and a few other unknowns combined with being a bit sleep deprived made me lose it. Doing much better. I'll write a bit more tomorrow.

OK, laundry can be switched. Hoping for some sleep tonight!

Minus 1 Project

2010-12-07T20:45:00.000-05:00

Kelly at the Minus 1 Project is having a Great Gift Raffle to raise money for their adoption. Check out her blog - it's wonderful. They also sell Got Love? Adopt t-shirts, sweatshirts, bags, etc. Go take a look! :)

4 years ago today....

2010-12-06T09:52:00.000-05:00

My baby girl, GEM came into the world (don't you love her initials - she is our little gem - the sad part, my Mom pointed it out, I hadn't realized we'd done that).

I woke up at 4:15 in quite a bit of pain, thought it was braxton hicks (because they were very close together, didn't make sense - it WAS 4 am!), drank water and got back into bed. I didn't go back to sleep. About 5 minutes later I was shaking Brian awake, grabbed B out of bed and called my friend who had offered to watch him. Poor B was not sure what was going on as we pretty much kicked him out of the car (w/o shoes!) and rushed to the hospital. They told me there it was the fastest they'd ever checked anyone in and that my doctor probably wouldn't make it on time (she did, thank you God!). At 5:39 am E was born. Brian got to be there, and cut the cord, it was special since he missed all that with B (he missed EVERYTHING with B - from "I'm pregnant" to his first Christmas, but it may be because of that experience that he is the most attentive, wonderful Daddy to both kids). We had it between two names and we decided pretty quickly which one. Her middle name is the same as mine, my Mom's, and my Grandmother's.

B came that afternoon to meet his baby sister. It took a little warming up but before long he was the happiest big brother ever! A couple of weeks later he asked me if I could have another baby so we'd have 2 (come on kid, don't you remember what we've been through the past 9 months - you don't REALLY want Mommy to have another baby!). So sweet though.

G is now my princess. She's a very sweet (and polite) girly girl who also enjoys trucks, trains, dinosaurs and army guys (she has a big brother, what do you expect?). I can't believe she's 4. I'm a bit sad because I really didn't want quite this big of a gap between E and our baby, but it's all in God's plan. She'll be a wonderful big sister and B will continue to be a terrific big brother.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! I love you!

7 years ago today....

2010-12-04T23:19:00.001-05:00

the most wonderful thing happened....a baby was born, and so were a Mommy and Daddy. My baby boy, B, was born at 1 pm December 4 and I immediately fell in love with him. All through my pregnancy I felt very little attachment to this little guy (constant puking will do that) but the moment he was born he was Mommy's boy.

Daddy called at midnight and talked to us on the phone. It took a while to name him and our Mother's were going crazy! I told them he couldn't be named until Brian called. Then we were so happy to talk that we forgot to name him. When the phone card ran out both my Mom and MIL looked at me and simultaneously yelled "A NAME" in complete exasperation! It was lots of fun.

Finally they left the hospital room when Brian called back so we could talk privately and then we named him. BHM. H is after my Grandmother who died the same year B was born. B is a name we both like a lot. It was very hard to name him. We have no idea how we'll ever come up with another boy's name.

But I digress....B is an amazing boy. He's doing well at school. His teachers report that he loves to learn! He will go to the museums here and spend ages at each exhibit, studying it and really learning about it. He really enjoyed football this year though I think there was more fooling around than actual playing, but he had fun. He likes Taekwondo, most of the time. He loves to play with his friends. Currently we're blessed to have some of our best friends staying with us. He has asked every year since we moved away from them if they can come to his birthday party and this year his wish came true.

He's now sleeping. I still can't believe that my baby is 7. How do they keep getting older - I don't think I've gotten that much older. Happy Birthday baby boy! I love you!

Goodbye and Hello

2010-11-29T14:23:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to our Ugandan friends. G, J, and H became a part of our family and the house is oddly quiet without them. We're praying for safe travels back to Uganda and for their transition back into their lives there, which won't necessarily be easy for them.

To make sure our house isn't quiet for long....my best friend H, and her 4 kids are coming to visit!!! This is a complete surprise and I'm thrilled. They're also going to be here for my kids' joint birthday part this Saturday. They are thrilled because they always want to invite C, B, and C (and baby E this year too) and they actually get to come this year! Hurray! But please keep my husband in your thoughts. He adores this family but he's had a lot of sharing his house going on. :)

The good news - it's keeping us busy. Between visitors and the holiday season we can *almost* forget that we were hoping to get a referral this month and that the date has been moved off by a lot.

Reading

2010-11-18T19:16:00.001-05:00

Earlier tonight I was able to sit and watch my kids - B was sitting on the couch reading a book (with chapters! - from school) to himself. He has to read it and then retell it to me. He did great.

Then E was sitting on the ground with a flyer that came in the mail. This is what she "read":
"There was a King named B and he met a Princess named E. They went to the castle...." she kept going but I thought it was ADORABLE! I loved hearing her imagination and her imagining her older brother as a king (not surprised that she was the princess).

Just thought I'd share a fun story about my kids b/c I want to remember it.

1 Year...

2010-11-16T09:15:00.001-05:00

of waiting. Waiting for fingerprints, waiting for background checks, waiting for social workers, waiting for USCIS, waiting for a referral (still waiting). 1 year ago today we wrote a check and filled out an application that would have significant impact on our lives. Little did I know how much impact it would have before we even saw a picture of our Little One. We're still waiting for that but E and I are off to a play date with friends formed through the adoption process. Hoping for a referral soon, aware that it's likely to be a while still, trying to enjoy life with friends in while we continue to wait!

Question about Korea (traveling)?

2010-11-11T19:41:00.001-05:00

Unfortunately I am not personally traveling to Korea for quite a while. But my cousin's boyfriend plays basketball in Korea (Go Mobis Phoebus!). She is visiting him for Thanksgiving and wants to buy a turkey in Seoul. Any ideas where this might be possible?!? I don't know which gu (district) he lives in, but I asked to try to narrow down how far they'd be willing to travel, but at this point if it's in Seoul, then let me know!
Thanks!