Tuesday, September 14, 2010

G Starting School! And musings on separation anxiety.

My baby girl just started school (preschool). They really ease the kids into it so yesterday was the first day that she got dropped off and I left. The teacher told me there were a few tears. Generally my daughter isn't very shy or clingy at all but recently she has been a bit more. I think that as excited as she is about school (she's been talking about it ALL summer and she just thinks it's very exciting) the reality is making her uneasy and causing a bit of separation anxiety as we move forward. She's now crying when she goes to church or PWOC, and that didn't used to be the case. Hopefully as we all get used to our new routines she will be her old cheerful self again in all (most) situations.

The good news:
1. Her teacher is AMAZING - so warm and loving!
2. It is a Christian preschool (not just taking place at a church but the teachers gather and pray for the kids each morning before school starts, the kids learn a memory verse and have chapel time, etc.)
3. G is always happy and excited when I pick her up from any of these places. She seems happy about what she did in class even if she doesn't want to go initially.

As I experience this with her (my child who has never really experienced a lot of separation anxiety, who follows my son who only experienced it right after Brian deployed when he was 1 but then never did again), I wonder about our child on the other side of the world. We're guessing our child has been born and has experienced his/her first loss already. Separation anxiety won't even begin to describe the type of difficulties this child could face. Loss of parents and then loss of foster parents. Coming to an unfamiliar country with weird looking people and a strange language. Finally attaching to us (hopefully within a few months or so) and then definitely NOT wanting to be left with someone else. The fear that being left could invoke would be so real. I am thankful that G and B are so attached that they don't want us to leave but that they're really just fine once we do. They are confident that we will return. I pray that eventually our third child will also feel confident in that.


  1. that's something i've been praying REALLY hard for, too!
    and, if you want some korean restaurant recommendations or would like to meet up at one, let me know! you can email me -- it should be attached to my comment :)

  2. Your third child will be so lucky and loved. What a thoughtful post. Thank you for the comments you leave on my blog too. They always lift me up. Thinking and praying for a short wait for you!

  3. It sounds like you found a great school; hopefully once G settles in she won't be as apprehensive when you drop her off.

    Its definitely very difficult to see your newly adopted child grieve all he has lost. Its good you are preparing yourself for it, but also know that even those children that have awful transitions settle in over time.

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  5. That's great that she loves the school. One can only pray that these children don't have a hard time attaching. These kids are resilent. It's amazing how well they do. You are well prepared!